What are the signs that a person is sincerely sorry after cheating on you?

[christina808]

My boyfriend of eight years cheated on me three years ago. We are working things out, but it's kind of rough because I can't find myself to trust him and I am terrified of being cheated again. I am contemplating of seriously leaving him, but people around me, especially our friends are telling me to give our relationship a second chance, and I'd be a hypocrite, if i'd say that I don't have feelings for him, but the fear of being cheated again is just overwhelming. I just want to know if what are the signs that a person is really sorry after he cheated from his partner. In my case, my partner suggested counseling, he constantly tells me his whereabouts, he rarely goes out after office, he gave me his email and facebook account password. His gestures can give certain security, but I don't know if this can go on forever.

What are the real signs or gesture that a person is sincerely sorry from cheating?

[Kaius]

You will never fully trust him, because in the back of your mind you will always see him as a cheater.
Whenever you fight or argue, this will always come back to haunt you.
The probability of him cheating again is almost 100%. People don't stop cheating.
If you are okay with him cheating again regularly, then you stay.
Why torture yourself in fear all the time. There are plenty of nice fellows who never cheat.
I never cheat....then again, I'm mentally insane so that doesn't count.

[IndiReloaded]

Christina, I know why you are posting this, but some answers can only come from you. What would satisfy YOU that you can forgive him? Remember, I did say not everyone would be able to. For some people, cheating is a one-way door.

Part of being an adult is knowing your own mind. You can't let anyone else's standards affect your thinking in this. This decision is entirely yours, doll. Good luck.

[Nomie]

My friend continuing with a love that has no trust is a disaster cause in a long run you are hurting yourself. I am not so sure though if taking a break from each other for now will be a solution. Cause it will means being apart from one another. But a soul searching will be a gud idea.
When we are involve with our partners a trust has to be the first priority and is the one who conquers every thing else that comes in our way as the challenges. A love with no trust is doomed, its like a broken glass that can't be fixed.

[VincenzoG91]

Even if a cheater is sorry afterwards, he (or she) is usually just sorry about getting caught.

[Gigabitch]

Who did he cheat with? is that person permanently and verifiably out of his life? That's one sign.

The complete transparency is another, and it sounds like he's already doing that.

Is he remorseful not just for cheating but specifically for hurting you and does he feel that it's his responsibility to help heal your pain, or is it all up to you to forgive him and move on?

[vashti]

If this event happened three years ago, I do think you need to decide to either forgive him, or move on. It really isn't fair for you to continue punishing him over this when he has done everything you ask to put your insecurities to rest.

[xxazurexx]

Thing is and even though you forgive and stop punishing, there is always that 'niggling' doubt that doesn't go away and is always there and will remain there.

Know it did in my case anyway. I forgave, but couldn't forget.

I couldn't be in that situation anymore. Once someone cheated, I'd have to leave.

[Cosmo]

Thing is and even though you forgive and stop punishing, there is always that 'niggling' doubt that doesn't go away and is always there and will remain there.

Know it did in my case anyway. I forgave, but couldn't forget.

I couldn't be in that situation anymore. Once someone cheated, I'd have to leave.

Agreed. Without trust there is nothing.

[mikey501]

My aunt was in the same situation as you. Married for 15 years and found out that her husband cheated on her. Tried to mend things and get back together, but found out that he started cheating again.
In my opinion once a cheater always a cheater. It is best to try and make peace and move on.

[bluesummer]

The trust thing never gets better. Once they've broken it in a way like cheating, it turns into a very slow form of relationship poison. You want so hard to trust them, but despite everything they do to try and prove their trustworthiness, it just never goes away.

I cheated on my first bf one year into my relationship, and he took me back but he never trusted me fully again. In the end, the relationship was totally sour because I wanted to be trusted but I couldn't handle the constant surveillance and skepticism. It took us 4 years of that to finally end it. My second long term relationship, I was cheated on. I never trusted him again, although I wanted to.

[christina808]

You will never fully trust him, because in the back of your mind you will always see him as a cheater.
Whenever you fight or argue, this will always come back to haunt you.

It's like you're in my head, Kaius. Yes, whenever we argue, whenever we fight- his cheating always comes up. I am as tired as he is about this, the only advantage i get from this is that I always win the argument.

[Shark]

If he just hooked up with another girl, it may have been a purely physical thing. If he had another "relationship" then you probably shouldn't be with him. He may just need a lot of attention or his passion in your relationship may have died out. Don't let the fear of loss pull you into deciding to stay with him. You WILL find someone else who will make you just as happy, or happier.

[Gribble]

People are never sorry for cheating. They're sorry for getting caught.