I need help badly!!

[crazysam87]

hello girls!

ive been dating a girl for about a month and a half, almost ounce a week or 2, but it hasnt come up to something yet. shes an extremely cold person, rarly talk about herself and how she feels, but still always smiling a lot when talking to me. I already talked to her about my interest in her, and she told me she kinda needs time cause she had some story with a guy a bit before we met. She told me we had to only be friends for now. So i dont still really know if shes interested...Shes always accepting my invitations or giving me real good excuses if not. I cooked for her friday and we talked and drank a bit all evening until like 3:00am. I wanted to make a move to know how interested she was but something blocked me!

during our conversation she said to me shes been alone for 7 years now. Shes 25 and im 23 btw, for my part ive been alone for almost 3 years. So i asked her why and she told me she dont want to be with a guy shes not completly sure to really love. So i started thinking...geez first she tells me we need to be friends first and then she tells me she not interested in having a bf if she not completly in love... thing is..I dont want to wait for 2 months, always trying to charm her and end up hearing: oh im sorry sam, i really like you but were too good friends and get my hearth broken cause i waisted my time only getting myself in the damn ''friend zone''. we actually never kissed or cuddled or hugged or anything like that. I usually always try to at least hug girl to try and show my interest, but her cold personnality is completely blocking me. Im starting to think i should just end up everything and stop seeing her. But I can also invite her out another time and make a move and see if shes receptive... if she pushing me away, then i know ill never have what a want right? and if she just hold on to me its clear she interested in some way? so if she dont push me away I can tell her how much i like her and how great i feel when im around her and let her some time to know me better!

thank you for givimg me your opinion on this situation

[xrwalker31x]

Well i think you hit the nail on the head there.

She sounds like she has a serious hearbreak in the past and obviously this has knocked her trust with men completely. She is afraid that if she lets herself go and opens herself up to you, you will just do what the last man did and break her heart all over again. So that is why she is as cold as ice in the feeling department, and it will take alot to knock that wall down that she holds up. She sounds interested in you for sure, and if you want her you need to awaken her to how good a relationship is and how it feels. Dont jump into it and force her to get into a relationship, most likely she will retreat behind her wall again. Take her out , make sure she has fun and she laughs as a friend, romance her subtly and let her kno that your not an jerk and slowly but surely that lack of trust will turn as an attraction is already there to begin with. Perserverance is key!
Good luck!
Rachael x

[Baybee]

Well why don't you make a move and see what her response is? If she says no, there are plenty other women who will love a guy like you to charm them; if she says she is interested then there you go

[Jas_mine]

Like the first reply said, you possibly need to reassure her. Being single for seven whole damn years when you are only twenty-five is a huge deal - she has obviously been burnt in the past and has never recovered. It is up to you to decide whether you have the patience to try and win her over, whether she is worth the effort, and whether you are able to in fact help her come to terms with whatever heartbreak she has suffered.

However, at the same time, she may very well get annoyed if you continue to persevere when she has clearly stated how she feels about you, if she has said you are 'too good friends' then you should back off and let her breathe, don't push it otherwise you will lose her friendship too. Maybe you should become a little more reserved, retract your friendship, don't be around so much - this may do wonders for you as she may start to miss your company and realise how much she does in fact like you. It's not guaranteed to work but it's a suggestion nevertheless.

[crazysam87]

thanks you girls for your responses..i think ill try to make a move next time we see and see how she responds. Im a bit afraid of waiting for her , cause i did that before and never had what i wanted and I dont want to wonder how this will end. Not a feeling a really appreciate. I really need to settle this situation fast. Idk if that really matters but..last time we talked(on facebook) she told me a medium said she was gonna meet her lover in some month, who will be 28,with a house and bla bla bla..shes being told the same thing for 3 years now. This is not really reconforting me..I mean..im not 28, I dont have a house etc etc, not that I believe these things , but i dont like that at all. Why would she tell me this?? some kind of message? maybe to see my reaction! anyway, this is getting a bit too complicated and im not feeling good.I just want to see her again, make a move and put an end to this as soon as i can.