The Highway to Hell

[Gribble]

This has quickly become the de facto "Gribble is horrible" forum.

I broke a lunch date. More accurately, I ditched a lunch date at the table. I don't know what I was on when I met this girl. I must have had some serious beer goggles going. Yes, I like my women beautiful, but I've always prided myself in appreciating inner beauty as well. This girl was buck-toothed and freckled and she wore grandma glasses. She was the caricature of nerd. And I like nerdy girls. She took it to the stereotypical sitcom level. Nothing to talk about. So unappealing I literally lost my appetite. I set the alarm on my phone five minutes ahead when she wasn't looking. Phone rang on queue, I picked it up and gave an Emmy Award winning performance.

"Oh, my god! No. Are you serious? What hospital?? Oh Jesus. I'll be right over."

"Honey, I am so sorry. My mom was just in an accident. She's in the hospital. Looks like it's just a few bruises and cuts, nothing serious, but I have to leave. Please, please forgive me. I promise I'll make this up to you."

Soon as my butt hit the seat of my car I slammed down on the pedal and gunned it out of there. Cranked up the music, rolled down the windows and danced in my seat the whole way home. It was so exhilarating. I haven't felt this good in years. God, I'm horrible. But I love it!

[bluesummer]

There's not a person alive that doesn't know that's a cut-the-date-short tactic. Or is that what you were hoping for, that she would sorta know?

If so, then that IS horrible.

[Gribble]

Yeah, but when I say something people believe me. I'm the most wholesome sounding, most innocent looking guy you could ever meet.

My buddy's girlfriend calls me whenever she's suspicious. She trusts me more than she does him. Asks me where we were last night, things like that. "Oh, we picked up some pizza and stopped at my place. Played video games the whole night. One of those guy things." Yeah... uhm. Actually, I flew his wing at the bar and dropped him and his one-nighter off at the roach motel before crashing.

[girl68]

Pretty lame you left with the promise to make it up to her that is the part that gets me... not that you wanted to ditch.

[Gigabitch]

Someday, someone is going to bust you and go insane. She's going to drop a couple of roofies in your beer and get your forehead tattooed with the word "Player".

That'll teach you.

[Gribble]

Nah. Someday, if I live that long, I'm going to be old and wrinkly. When that day comes DM and I will be hanging out at hotel bars, a 20 year old chick in each of our arms as we contribute to our nation by paying the tuition of promising college students.

[girl68]

It's amusing you think you can do all sorts of wrong and never be wronged.

[Gribble]

Funny thing about karma is it's a crock of shit. The wicked get what they want. Everyone else fights for the scraps.

[girl68]

^ See, it is amusing!

[Junket]

Funny thing about karma is it's a crock of shit. The wicked get what they want. Everyone else fights for the scraps.

Not entirely true.

Karma I think is bullshit, but people do remember things.

Trust me.

[bluesummer]

Karma isn't bullshit. I've seen a lot of very deserving people (both good and evil) get theirs in the end, although it was a long time coming. There's balance, trust me.

Grib, I swear your conscience is getting a little smaller every day.

[Mish]

All of this comes down to self perception. If you see yourself as someone worthy of peeple's deepest inner most hatred and loathing then that's the price you will ultimately pay in the end. One of the greatest rewards in life is to look in the mirror and see a decent person worthy of respect looking back at you, you readily sacrifice this for things which are worth much less. This is your punishment and I don't envy you.

[doppelgaenger]

It's a good thing I wasn't drinking anything when I read this post, because I just laughed my ass off.

What a good idea. I'm going to have to do this more when I am sick of talking to someone. Happens quite a bit!

[vashti]

Someone has kidnapped the real Gribble and replaced him with this curmudgeon. I want the old one back. He was always such a high-class act.

[Illusional]

you left and you didn't run up the bill?? that's just bad manners.

raverboy