I like my best friend....

[Herro]

So it seems like every girl I usually try and go after ends up just wanting to be friends with me and nothing more. I dont know exactly what Im doing wrong but I know something is wrong and I need to change it. I let them know I like them and want to be more then friends, but maybe I'm too nice and enter the friend zone unexpectably.

So my best friend; she used to like me when I didnt like her but now its the other way around. I buy her little things her and there and take really good care of her and am really nice since she is my bff but maybe Im being too nice for her to see me as her bf...? She knows I like her and I'll bring it up occassionally asking if there ever might be more to us but she just avoids the question. Alot of her friends and even her dad are saying we should date but she says she just doesnt see it or "feel it" between us.

What should I do or how should I change my personality to get her to fall for me again? Im leaving for 9 days where all I'm going to be able to do is text/call her so how could I use that to get her to miss me and look at me from a different angle? Im going to try and make a move once I get back and just hope it goes over well but it would be nice if she missed me enough to realize she does need or want me in her life as more.

I need help, I really like her and can see myself being with her for a long time. I just wish she would see that.

Thanks, Jeff.

[TheTooya]

*cough* ladder theory.

I am going to sound like the Ebenezer Scrooge but... shes not interested, don't dwell on it, simply move on.

[Alvy]

There's nothing you can do to 'make' her fall for you. Either the attraction is there, or it isn't. You two may get along great, to an outside observer, you two might even look like a good couple, but unless there's a something about you (personality or whatever) she's attracted to, no amount of playing mind games with her will make her see you as 'partner' material.

[GenesisxJY01]

don't Give Up!!
almost every person you go for, theres always going to be that type of attitude.
I got into the amazing 5 year relationship I am in today because I tried hard, what happened with me was every day I would be the best most wonderful person to her, I wouldn't be the nicest guy in the world but I would try, the goal was just to get her to notice me (that was the key), once I left and came back for a week long trip she had missed me so much because what I had been doing for her just wasn't there anymore, from there I was able to build on a strong and loving relationship.
Don't listen to these guys telling you to give up, Love is something you really have to work at, you have to make yourself show the person that you are who she wants to be with, it's not automatic, a flat she's either interested or she's not type of thing. If it's something long term, just don't give up, do for her what nobody else would and on your trip when you're away there should be a hole in her life that you fill, thats how you get her to really think about it. If you truly want her, Try , Try , Try.

-Hope this helps

[Herro]

Thanks for that. I'm hoping thats what might happen but if not....oh well I guess.

What am I doing wrong though that all the girls I try for, they just end up wanting to be friends? I try and stay out of the "friend zone" and I make sure they know I like them and want to be more but they seem to ignore that and just want to be friends? Any tips on what I could do or should I just read up around the forum?

[Alvy]

It depends on the individual... trying repeatedly to get a girl to magically fall in love with you might work on some, but there are also plenty who would get sick and tired of having to say 'no, not interested' every time you tried to make a move.

As for being shunted in the 'friend zone', sounds like they're simply not attracted to you. You may like them, you may be the kindest, sweetest, most understanding person in the world, but it'll mean nothing if they have absolutely no interest in forming a relationship with you. You can't create something from nothing. Funnily enough, some of the longest lasting relationships from what I've seen from family/relatives all started with plain friendships at first. But at the same time, there was also some level of attraction. Perhaps it's how they hold themselves, perhaps it's how they speak, how they articulate words, or what it feels like to be in their presence. Tips? Keep trying. You sound confident enough since you're not afraid of being direct with girls about wanting more. Some are fortunate enough to only have to go through 2 or 3 people before finding that someone, others might go through 20 or 30, and still find themselves alone.

[mbdwaj]

Dude.. I had exactly the same story like 5 months ago. But the result is no matter how much I tried she only saw me as "Friend". So, in my theory, if a girl sees you as a friend, she may not change her opinion unless something really extraordinary happens.

My point is, be a good friend but don't have any expectations from her. My mistake was I raised up my expectations so high that ultimately I had to break up with her. Don't commit the same mistake. Be a friend. Just friend. May be when the time is right for you, she may see you as something more than a friend. My relationship or say friendship in a serious manner started like 3 years ago while I have known her from past 8 years, but now, we are no more together.

Love her, like her, adore her but keep it to yourself. Believe me when the time is good for you she will find out herself. Hope this helps you in making some decision.

[mbdwaj]

But for your benefit just be natural. Stop being so sweet to her. At the end you may feel like being used up. Find a reason for each thing you do for her, if its really worth doing. Don't be an emotional tampon for her because this will hurt you big time later on. In other words, be a guy.. not a servant for her.

[Gigabitch]

You should NEVER change your personality to get someone to like you. What you should change is your behavior. You're going to stay in the Friend Zone as long as you keep acting like her bff. Simple as that.