Have I been a fool to wait all these years? What should I do?

[clearlyconfused]

First I will admit that I feel a little embarassed about my situation. I've always kept my emotions and feelings inside. Second, this has been going on for an extended amount of time so I feel in order to gain the best advice I need to explain the situation fully. Please I know it is a lot to take in, but I am in desperate need of advice and help.

The best way to describe her is smart, kind, beautiful, mature, outgoing and the life of the party.

I'm more laid back, smart, mature, handsome (as I have been told) and a "Southern Gentleman."

Back in college, I graduated in 2007, I met a very dear friend early my sophmore year. It was almost imediately that we became best friends. We clicked right away and were always together. It was as though we were always meant to be together. We could read each other's minds. It wasn't long before I developed more than friendship feelings for her. This is where my troubles started.

Being shy about expressing my feelings towards others, I never could bring myself to tell her how I felt about her. I was scared that since we had become such close friends that by telling her my true feelings I would alienate our friendship and make her feel uncomfortable. I was also scared that I would hurt her and I couldn't live with myself if I did.
Before I knew it she was dating the biggest losers in school who did nothing but use and abuse her. After she started realizng her first boyfriend wasn't treating her as she should be treated. She came to ask my advice, which I reluctantly gave (considering my own feelings for her). She soon broke up, thankfully.
A couple weeks later I had finally worked up the courage to tell her how I felt. I had arranged my night so we would be at the same place. When I finally started to go toward her to tell her how I felt she was talking to someone else. Right away I knew that she liked the guy, come to find out she had him in her classes. (They dated for about a year after we left school. )
Once we left school, I got myself into a situation where I became a work alholic. On one side I felt I had too work to help protect a family legacy, look over my ailling father and mother. On the otherside, I was miserable. I soon gained weight and became embarrassed of what I was and had become. But, I never stopped having deep feelings for her. It was a very dark period in my life. Because of my low self-esteem I didn't want her to find out what had happened to me. So, we talked sparatically over the next three years, never exchanging more than a text message or two.

This past weekend, my college roomate and best friend got married. Being such a close group of friends I knew that she and I would be seeing each other again (the first time since school.) I got myself together, exercising daily and preparing for the wedding and the time when I would see her again. And I did it, I was back to the way I used to be.
Immediatly, it was like old times. I asked for her forgiveness for being absent in her life for three years which she of did not hesitate to give full heartily. We saw each other constantly drinking, dancing and hanging out like old times. While dancing she kept kissing me on the checks, while we walked from place to place she kept grabbing my hands. It was as though the untold tension between us returned immediatly. The night of the wedding, we again were together for the entire time. The entire time I felt that she was dropping me hints, I felt we were very emotional towards one another. One the bus back to the hotel a woman, who I did not know, sat next to me and to my shock, asked her why I hadn't told her how I felt about her. She explained that everyone at the wedding was talking about how happy we looked together and that I needed to express my feelings toward her because if I didn't nothing would ever happen.

The next moring, after I dropped her off at the airport, she texted me thanking me for the time we spent together and as she described it, it was "one of the best moments in her life" being able to see and spend time with each other again.
Back in our respective cities we have been talking through our phones continueing to catch up, returning to being the great friends we once were and setting up plans to meet at the marathon fundraiser this coming week for a dear friend who is very sick. (Happens to be her best girlfriend from school). This being a transition week for her employment, today was her last day. Knowing how busy she would be I sent her a quick e-mail asking about hotel reservations which she responded that she would be staying with her boyfriend's brother. I was quite surprised because she hadn't brought him to the wedding, nor had mentioned having one to me all weekend. Now I find out that he will be there, how miserable is that.

I was going to use this coming weekend as a chance to to ask her on a date, in a casual manner in order to not take the chance of making her feel uncomfortable because we are such close friends but also because we just started talking again.
Now I feel like I am in the same situation as I always have been. I do not know what to do, but I know that I cannot live like this any longer. This past weekend, I felt that we shared the feelings together, today I feel as though I share these feelings only between myself. Yet, a strong tension always exists around us. Part of me wants to tell her the feelings I hold toward her, but the other half wants to protect her. How do I know that she isn't happy with who she is with currently? She has been living her life and I have made mine for so many years. Making it worse she starts a new job in a new carrerr path next week. I feel like no matter what my options are, I will end up hurting her and that is the last thing I want to do. To make it worse, I am starting to question the (tensions between us, her constant body language and general hints) as a response of my own feelings for her.
Please help, any advice will be most welcome.