Fiancee's Elderly Male Friend seems Overfamiliar - Problem?

[BlueDanube]

Guys,

Would appreciate another male view on this situation;

My Fiancee (we marry in 6 months and I've known her 2 years) maintains a 'friendship' with an elderly, unhappily married male (he 70, her 50) which has me wondering about overfamilairity. He fawns around her, doing jobs for her, e-mailing, phone calls and so on. A typical e-mail (which she showed me unintentionally) might go ' Hi [pet name], you naughty girl not calling me - when'X' (me) has gone I hope you can call me as I've missed seeing and chatting to you'. He has also always put off meeting me which doesn't seem appropriate to a friend.

My view of this is that I don't feel particularly threatened and I actually don't mind the firendship (he's an old family friend and I trust my Fiancee) but his language and manner niggle me. Not because he's a threat (at 70 and unwell he isn't) but it feels like I have to accept this behaviour because of his age/health. She says he's just a friend and appears not to detect the (to me) obvious sexual, flirtatious overtones of his calls. e-mails etc. It feels like an unhappily married elderly man indulging himself with a younger woman.

Should I be niggled by this (am I over-reacting) and, if it seems a little overfamiliar to you, what should I do?

[xxazurexx]

He's 70 for crying out loud!! lol

The guy is an old family friend and is likely to be just lonely and likes company ya know!

I really wouldn't worry about it.

[BlueDanube]

Thanks for the reply azure - yeah, I know what you mean which is why I haven't raised it with her or lost a huge amount of sleep thus far. I guess the niggle is that I know it and have to put up with it. I'm not quite sure why he can't simply behave like a friend - that I have no problem with.

[xxazurexx]

I honestly just wouldn't worry about it. He's 70 and I think that when guys reach that age, they can see an attractive younger woman and it's like 'wishful thinking' on their part, but they know they are past their prime so to speak. He probably just likes her company and the attention of a woman fussing over him and ensuring he is ok and because it's something he hasn't had for so long.

Your fiancee is likely to be just a very compassionate lady who cares about the welfare of others you know. And because this guy is elderly and alone and is an old family friend, she just likes to ensure he's ok.

My gran was pretty much the same type of woman. Very compassionate natured and often put the needs of others before her own....and she never asked for a thing in return. After my grandad died, his old friend sought company in my grandma. He had been a friend of both of theirs for over 30 years. She looked after my grandads old male friend, who was unwell. She would go visit him to make sure he was ok, cook his meals, do his washing....but there was NOTHING going on. It's just the kind of woman she was and in her nature to care.

[BlueDanube]

Thanks for the comments Azure and I can see where you are coming from. In truth, I'm not hugely worried about this for all the reasons you give, so will park it and move forward. I'll be living with my Fiancee soon and marrying early next year. That will bring a natural change to the situation so I'm not planning to say anything about it.

Thanks again