Why wont he marry me?

[bernie1106]

I have been dating my bf for 11 years and it seems as if he is not even thinking about marriage anytime soon. I feel as if it doesnt take 11yrs to figure out it you really want to be with somone or not. We have been through our ups and downs and there has been a lot to happen in our relationship. We both have cheated on each other and have hurt each other. I have forgivven him and want to move on, but it seems as if he doesnt want to take that next step. He knows that I want to be married and I have told him to not lead me on if he never plans on marrying me. He has even told me that I was better off marrying a stranger if I wanted to get married right now. He says that he cant talk to me, but I feel that he never even listens to what I have to say. He talks to his friends and he seems to take what they say to him versus me. I dont know whether to stay with him or just leave. I dont want to keep dating and he still says he doesnt want to get married a year later. I just dont know if he is really being honest with me. What should I do?

[Kaius]

He doesn't want to marry you. It's not that he doesn't want to get married. All men would want to get married at some point....
It's convenient for him to be with you right now, and he doesn't like changes. Do you want to have children? If not,
then there is really no reason to get married really. If you two were to break up today, he will be married within
1 year to someone else. This is usually how things work.

[bernie1106]

Well we already have a 3yr old daughter. So neither of us want anymore children. I just want him to be honest, because eventually I will leave. I refuse to keep dating him and he doesnt want to take the next step.

[VincenzoG91]

Why buy the cow when he's been getting the milk for free for 11 years? You should have put your foot down years ago.

[xxazurexx]

If he hasn't taken the next step after 11 years, he's never likely too.

[Gigabitch]

Who cares what his reason is? I just want to know why you're still living with him.

[NBT]

I have been dating my bf for 11 years and it seems as if he is not even thinking about marriage anytime soon. I feel as if it doesnt take 11yrs to figure out it you really want to be with somone or not. We have been through our ups and downs and there has been a lot to happen in our relationship. We both have cheated on each other and have hurt each other. I have forgivven him and want to move on, but it seems as if he doesnt want to take that next step. He knows that I want to be married and I have told him to not lead me on if he never plans on marrying me. He has even told me that I was better off marrying a stranger if I wanted to get married right now. He says that he cant talk to me, but I feel that he never even listens to what I have to say. He talks to his friends and he seems to take what they say to him versus me. I dont know whether to stay with him or just leave. I dont want to keep dating and he still says he doesnt want to get married a year later. I just dont know if he is really being honest with me. What should I do?

Do me a favor, and REALLY READ that section I just highlighted in bold.

No, seriously. TRULY READ IT, and then ask yourself that question again.

You've been with him 11 years.
He's not trying to marry you.
He doesn't listen to what you say.
He doesn't care that you want to marry him.
He listens to his friends, but won't listen to you.

And lastly...

He's TOLD you flat out that you'd be better off marrying a STRANGER than you would marrying him.

I think the solution is CLEAR. You need to END this, but you WON'T.

Instead, you will stay with him, hoping for a change that will never come.

[LailaK]

He doesn't want to marry you because he doesn't have to. He knows you aren't going anywhere so why should he marry you?

He's not going to change, or miraculously see the light unless maybe there is a real fear of losing you. But honestly, do you want to get married to an asshole who ignores your wants and needs? Move on.

[NBT]

He doesn't want to marry you because he doesn't have to. He knows you aren't going anywhere so why should he marry you?

He's not going to change, or miraculously see the light unless maybe there is a real fear of losing you. But honestly, do you want to get married to an asshole who ignores your wants and needs? Move on.

*applauds this post*

First time I have EVER THANKED someone in a post. It was that good.

Nice job.

Now only if she'll LISTEN...

[hotmomma]

I agree with everyone's statement.............He does not want to marry you. I have been dating my b/f for 2 years. He was with his previous g/f for 8 years and never even proposed. He said he knew he wasn't going to marry her, he flat out told her he didn't want to get married and they never talked about it. Us on the other hand, talk about it a lot. It will happen within the next year I am sure. Trust me...............He will NEVER marry you and if he does, it will be to keep you quiet.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

[IndiReloaded]

Another person who we've scared off to

[url]www.onlywhatIwanttohear.com[/url]

[xxazurexx]

I had a friend in the exact same situation. She was with her guy for around 10 years, they had one child and he wouldn't marry her. He'd tell her that he didn't believe in religion and religious ceremonies, that they didn't need to marry and to prove their love, that weddings were too expensive...money could be better spent on other things, etc.

They ended up parting the ways and a year later he married some other woman. The wedding took place in some lavish castle in the countryside. which would have cost a fortune!! Funny how the money had been worth it on this occasion.

[IndiReloaded]

They ended up parting the ways and a year later he married some other woman. The wedding took place in some lavish castle in the countryside. which would have cost a fortune!! Funny how the money had been worth it on this occasion.

Yes, this^.

[NBT]

I had a friend in the exact same situation. She was with her guy for around 10 years, they had one child and he wouldn't marry her. He'd tell her that he didn't believe in religion and religious ceremonies, that they didn't need to marry and to prove their love, that weddings were too expensive...money could be better spent on other things, etc.

They ended up parting the ways and a year later he married some other woman. The wedding took place in some lavish castle in the countryside. which would have cost a fortune!! Funny how the money had been worth it on this occasion.

This post should be read by EVERY woman in the OP's position.

It might wake them up....maybe.

[davidtorres]

I WILL NEVER marry a girl that cheated on me. lol if you can cheat on me when were not married, what makes you think he will believe that you wont cheat on him when you guys are married? 11 years of the same pussy? , shit his tired of that.