Does race matter?

[bhpchen94]

Ive met this girl who is a year younger than me and is from a different racial background from me. I am Chinese and she is Mexican. She is an average Mexican who is intelligent and sweet and i knew that she had a thing for me when we first talked. I have some feelings for her though i am not sure whether i should go out with someone else with a different racial background. First, my parents would disapprove. And second, others would look at us differently event treat us differently. I am thinking of asking her out but keeping the relationship to the lowest and privatest of lowest so that nothing interfere with us. However, keeping it low may have a strong chance of her disliking me for my reasons.

Whats your advice?

[sookie6]

I can see why your parents might disapprove but why would people treat you differently (I mean yes mexican and chinese is an uncommon match but still you would be just two young people in love)?

When you say people do you mean people from your own respective communiity?

[Alvy]

What is this? The 1950s? It's quite common to see mixed couples now. No one would give you two a second glance on street. As for your parents, tell them to open up their narrow minded views on relationships.

[bhpchen94]

Friends as well as other spectators will also see and might even look down on us as a couple due to racial differences ive seen friends and families talk about this and i know its true now i just dont know if i should ask her out or not or to keep it low

[Alvy]

Ask her out. If your friends/family think skin pigmentation is an issue, that's their problem, not yours. If she's a great person with a heart of gold and you two get along, it shouldn't matter if her skin's pink, purple, white, grey, black, whatever. As for other people looking down at you, why do you need their approval? They're just random people on the streets.

[sookie6]

If others opinion matters to you so much that you are questioning whether asking a woman out I don't think you are quite ready to enter the world of relationships as with any woman there is always gonna things in her personality or looks that parents and friends might disagree with...

Now I understand that chinese culture is really one where there is a strong protocole on how to act and speak to family and people in general. So there is always gonna be a culture clash with anyone who has not been picked by your mom and dad...

Overall I'd say only go ahead with this mexican girl if you are prepared to stand your and her ground whatever the comments...if not just pull away. It's a great qulaity to be able to recognise that you are not strong enough to fight some battles...

Don't bite more than you can chew.

[roy_delene]

I don't think dating some one of a different race should be a problem in this country. If you two like each other than you should go out together. You should live for yourself and not try to make other people happy because you'll just make yourself miserable by doing this.

[tomatoes]

You're from US? Nope. i don't think it matters. But in my country; it might.

I don't find it a problem. I have a chinese friend that is in a relationship with an indian guy. They are doing very fine! Well as for me; I'm a chinese and my parents would KILL me if I get with guys of other races. To be honest, I've never feel attracted to guys of other races as well.

If your family is conservative, and you know they are gonna object; u got to be ready to face your family though

[Junket]

Does race matter?

Sometimes.

[OCEANNE]

A big NO! Start erasing that from your mind.

[bhpchen94]

Well people in school is what im referring to other people

I like her so much i cant sleep cause i think about her so much.

I care a lot about my image and what others say thats whats bothering me

[lastwish]

I don't think people will give you looks at school. It's the U.S, not China. I'm Chinese-Canadian and my parents would probably try to convince me to date my race. But if you are old enough to date, then you should decide for yourself. Plus, it's stupid to still think this way when it's 2010.

[winnwinnfreddy]

We can all play the "This is the 21st century" card, but we all know that racial tension still exists and is prevalent, especially in some areas. Social approval is important to most Americans, and, while race should not hinder the relationship, if you put social approval above love and happiness, then you'd best not pursue it.And if you'd rather have social approval than be with a girl, you honestly don't care enough to be with the woman in the first place, so you shouldn't waste either of your time.

If you do love her more than social approval, I wish you two the best

[vashti]

I don't think people will give you looks at school. It's the U.S, not China. I'm Chinese-Canadian and my parents would probably try to convince me to date my race. But if you are old enough to date, then you should decide for yourself. Plus, it's stupid to still think this way when it's 2010.

You obviously live in a large city. I can tell you for sure that race still matters in some areas. Ever been to northern Idaho? They still have Klan parades on Main Street in the small towns.

[Ashurii]

Why use the 'people still think that way in certain areas' as an excuse, though? At the end of the day, that sort of thinking is wrong: fact. I don't know about you guys, but I don't want to be the sort of person that even cares about what people like that think.