seriously need advice

[samy7]

i will try to make this short and very simple,though it is very complicated.
i liked a girl in my college.she was from same hometown.i am a shy kind of person so i used to get a bit nervous in front of her.
she judged it that i like her through my behaviour in front of her,then i got to know she likes me too.she always used to initiate talks with me,flirted every now and then,giving signals that she is too attracted towards me.we never get to talk freely as we are in different sections.
after nearly 1 year we got the same summer project. i was very excited . there i got the opportunity to talk to her freely. there i got to know her really,and i found her very jolly kind of girl,a bit carefree too. but she was always very interested in talking to me,used to prefer me over other project mates in doing project work,hanging out.she always kind of flirting with me and me too gave her signals that i like her.after the project completition time .when we were about to go back to college whehere we have no common classes,her one friend told me that she is interested in me.
after coming to college i once called her and confessed myself saying that i was feeling a bit uncomfortable not able to talk to her.she seemed very excited and caring too during the phone call and answered very excitedly .i decided to take it furthur and build some more closeness. but thereafter she never initiated the talk.i used to initiate always .she kind of lost interest in me after i made that phone call may be she wanted me to show some care and love for her but whenever i started to talk she was never interested in continuing for long.i thought that she has forgotten me so i had to move on but i wasnt able to do that.
after 4 months i decided to confess my love for her.she came to know through one common friend that i am still not over her .then she started playing typical mind games of women,tried to make me feel jealous,started ignoring me,used to show little respect when i am around.i once told her through online chat that i am feeling a bit uncomfortable not able to talk as freely as we used to during summer and i feel a bit nervous now a dayz in front of her (that wasnt true though) hinting that i still love her but her reply was cruel .she laughed and said "yeah,keep getting scared "and went offline. that broke me.
but i again confessed to her after few dayz saying clearly that i love her and and tried to forget her thinking that she has forgotten me but was not able to do that.this time too she replied cruely saying she is not interested in love matters and all that and i dont need to say anything furthur to her ,interrupting me when i was confessing my love to her.
i am kind of person who doesnt forget easily,that broken heart costed me very much.i wasnt able to concentrate fully.my academics got messed up badly.my friends didnt understand me and now they have started ignoring me.some make fun of me.
that girl is doing excellent .she has a very large and attractive social circle in college from the very beginning while i am left with no confidence,screwed academics,no friends.it has been 4 months ,and i m still not completely over her.i find myself continuously visiting her facebuk profiles,what shes doing these dayz etc. i have adopted no contact policy and didnt even sms her she also removed me from her chatting list on the day i confesed my love for her.recently she asked me to just look after her bag in the bus when there were others too to do that .we didnt say hi to each other or even look at each other when we passy by then y she tried to talk that day what was that or am i simply being a paranoid thinking way too much. i dont know what to do.. its nearly kiiling me .plz offer some useful advice

[jayjaym]

this is what id do-

id private message her on facebook and ask somehting like "you know i really like you, do you like me or have any feelings at all?"

then with what ever she replies with it would be final

if she repleis back with "i have no feelings for you" then theres nothing more to do then move on

if she does like you then try and get involved in her group.

[cmacattack1]

Just curious to ask you this "What did you think would happen?" You guys lost touch in college, you came at her talking about how you liked her, you did all the leg work and all the initiating, and after acknowledging that, you still came at her and confessed about how much you love her? Did you think that it was the magic words to get her to feel the same way when she wasn't showing any signs that she felt that way? I mean sure, maybe she was being nice and all that and still talked to you but there was no indication she cared about you. You heard through a friend this, or another friend that. As far as I can tell you didn't get a straight answer from her at all. When you overwhelmed her with your feelings, she decided to push you away by being mean. She handled it very immaturely and wasn't honest about how she felt and very inconsiderate of your feelings, but at the same time you convinced yourself you cared about her when you really had nothing more that infatuation. You tried to build some closeness with her, but it wasn't getting you anywhere. I don't think you are in love with her, no matter how special thinking about her made you feel.

It's hard to have a stable loving relationship if everything is one sided. And it was all on your side. It takes two to really establish that connection and I promise you you will find something much more special than what you had with this girl. Stop checking her facebook profile (it doesn't help you feel any better or stop thinking about her), hide her stories in your minifeed, and stop talking to her. If she tries to talk to you, maybe kindly tell her that you need some space. She should understand. If she doesn't, screw her. You have to focus on moving forward, which is made difficult with her in your life. So sever your ties, and focus on other things that are getting you someplace. You will look back and laugh at this one day, don't you worry.

I don't recommend contacting her again, unlike the person above me. No offense, but it will bring him back to square one. It's pissing her off, no more contact.

[samy7]

cmacattack1 thank you very much
the reason i confessed my love for her after knowing all this was that i was still in a confused state not able to judge her behaviour,was that some kind of playing or tricking girls do before saying yes .i was trying to move on but then thought if i tell her then it would be easier for me to move on knowing that the relation couldnt get any furthur from this.but as you know i hurt myself badly and my situation got even worse after her rude answers which clearly showed that i meant nothing to her .she might have got a huge ego boost from me but thats a cheap way to make yourself feel better .she already has a huge social circle as i mentioned so there is little chance of her realising the mistake she did by not considering at least my feelings for her and reacting in a totally brutal manner.
i had a tough time fighting this too becoz i wasnt only fighting this but my screwed acads.i lost some very gud friends of mine coz they thought i was dwelling on it for so long. i am trying to get out of this and pray to god daily to help me emerge strongly after this.
thanx once again

[cmacattack1]

If you are confused about how you feel, I don't think telling her how you felt at THAT particular time was the way to go. You could feel very differently tomorrow, don't commit to something now. Of course you can't change what has already happened but take the good from this. Good luck with everything and I promise there will be more out there then this girl. You are ready for something more mature.