Still reeling

[kalifornia]

Let's say you're a guy and you've dated a woman for 6 weeks, had a great time, maybe gone on a dozen dates, most of them several hours long, kissed and cuddled and once or twice been more intimate than that.

Then let's say she blows you off. Let's say that after about a week, you've accepted the fact dating relationships can end up like that, i.e., one person is not feeling it and ends it.

Then let's say you have a phone conversation with said woman and the conversation starts off friendly and calm but ends up with you agitated and telling her that she was disrespectful in the way she blew you off.

Then let's say the next day - which was yesterday - said woman calls you back and rips you a new one, saying "F_uck you" to you twice and basically assassinating your character with a very hurtful personal attack.

How many days should it take to get over this and move on?

Thanks.

[Ashurii]

I don't know. About an hour?

[TheTooya]

30 minutes, she sounds like a bitch

(but it also sounds like you weren't so tactful in talking to her.... so I don't know how warranted she was in telling you to **** off)

[Mister Wizard]

I think you should just be glad you got some, and move on immediately.

[kalifornia]

Thanks for responding, guys. She was raped when she was 10 years old, and it affected things between us profoundly. However, in her attack on me, I was not allowed to say that her unspeakably horrific experience as a child had anything to do with her current anger at me. In fact, I was not allowed to say much of anything. I'm still trying to get over the hurtful and mean-spirited comments she made to me three days ago, but today is much better.

[girl68]

You say you accepted the fact she blew you off, you did not because you called her on it. That's YOUR bad.

[xxazurexx]

I'm still trying to get over the hurtful and mean-spirited comments she made to me three days ago, but today is much better. ...

Guess everyone is different, but I find it easier to get over guys if they resort to hurtful mean and harsh comments and personal attacks at the point of a breakup, like my ex did. He likely thought he was hurting me - little did he realise that it was all enabling me to move on, it did help me move on and without any regrets for my ending it. In fact he verified my reasons for ending it.
I have no problem ditching anybody who will launch verbal abuse and personally attack, especially if it wasn't warranted.

Who the heck wants to pine over a nasty piece of work anyway. Don't pine for it, be glad you dodged a bullet.

[kalifornia]

You say you accepted the fact she blew you off, you did not because you called her on it. That's YOUR bad.

That's true, but what I meant was this: I didn't like the fact that she blew me off at all. I was into her. But I accepted that she was done with me and that there was nothing I could do about it. It was hard to take, but there wasn't anything I could do to change her mind. I knew that. So, the day before we had the conversation where she ripped me a new one, I started off the phone call by saying "I know I said some things (e.g., "You're obviously done with me") in the voicemail I left you a week ago, but I'm over it. I wish you the best of success in [something she's doing related to her career], have a great life." (That sort of thing).
She responded, "So you've wrapped it up, huh?"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Her:" I don't get to talk?"
Me: "No, go ahead."

Then she started doing what she's done several times in the time I've known her: she started turning things around on me. It pissed me off and I responded angrily telling her not to do that. (One morning, we got up, she was running late for work, she forgot her purse and blamed me for not seeing it on the kitchen counter and making sure she didn't leave without it.)

I think my raising my voice at her set the stage for the next day: when she called me to tell me the real reasons she broke it off and she acted like she was doing me a favor, all the while couching her words in the most hurtful things she could think of.

[kalifornia]

Guess everyone is different, but I find it easier to get over guys if they resort to hurtful mean and harsh comments and personal attacks at the point of a breakup, like my ex did. He likely thought he was hurting me - little did he realise that it was all enabling me to move on, it did help me move on and without any regrets for my ending it. In fact he verified my reasons for ending it.
I have no problem ditching anybody who will launch verbal abuse and personally attack, especially if it wasn't warranted.

Who the heck wants to pine over a nasty piece of work anyway. Don't pine for it, be glad you dodged a bullet.

Yeah, it's been difficult though. I've so wanted to send her an e-mail telling her how she hurt me and how she was wrong, etc., but I realize it would be a mistake and that she couldn't give a f**k what I think right now.

[kalifornia]

Also, I should say: I don't discount her criticism of me. It had to do with intimacy; I closed my eyes some or most of the time (I dunno) when we were intimate and to her, that signaled that I seemed "not present" (her words). There was more, and I've accepted those critcisms as things I need to think about, but she couched them in absolutely vitriolic, mean-spirited insults. She was sociopathic in the last phone call she made to me.

[girl68]

Dude, get over it. She's a bit of a cow why are you still on this? get over it.