Do these things make me "immature"

[Wonder87]

A few days ago in a psych class all the girls basically said they wont date a guy who plays video games. I frequently play video games as my way to get away from school and/or work, and was kinda insulted that they just label all video game players as immature. I told the class that i dont think video game playing is any more or less mature than say....getting lunch with your friends. Almost everyone in the class (even the teacher) disagreed with me. I then tried to be more general and just said "i think doing ANYTHING excessively is immature, and to single out all video game players as excessive players is immature on people's part"

I take 5-6 classes a semester, work 15 to 20 hours a week on thurs/fri/sat/sun, and try to schedule 3-4 workouts each week as well. So what if i ever have a spare two hours i like to play video games. Is it really THAT immature? Again, my sister goes out to lunch with her friends like 5 times a week.

I always felt maturity has nothing to do with what a person does with their free time, but moreso are they willing to prioritize the important things in life OVER their free time. I'll admit that on every new years eve i tend to have a few too many drinks. But i dont go crazy every weekend and pound 10 shots of vodka...

just a frustrated person...

[lahnnabell]

They are stereotyping, yes. Video games can be a perfectly normal, fun way to pass the time. HOWEVER, there are many people that become addicted to video gaming. There are a number of reasons people may choose video gaming over other things. If it gets to this level where a person is avoiding responsibility and/or taking care of themselves, it is called escapism. Like drinking, drugs, sex, video games can be a crutch for some people when they don't want to deal with the rest of their lives.

You seem to have a healthy grasp on your life. You don't need video games in the way some people think they do. Don't take offense to anyone who is generalizing. Most likely those women that do have had some sort of falling out with a guy they liked because he was "too into video games" and didn't spend enough time with her. I had a guy like that once.

[IncognitoSir]

Pretty sure this doesnt go in the "Love Advice" forum buddy, and to answer your question, no, gaming doesnt make you immature. I am a gamer and I am also the most mature of ALL my friends. I have actuallu gotten them to admit to this lolol. Sounds like your classmates and teacher are rather close minded and very misguided individuals. Then again, this is coming from a bunch of psych heads.......no disrespect to you or any other psych majors out there but sometime they go off on this "I know the type of person you are based on a few things you do" trip. SMH

[girl68]

I agree it was a bit too much to say "all of ..." however I see much of what these girls fear. All too many times (and likely these girls are drawing on personal direct experiences) guys- their brothers, ex's or current lovers start gaming and that becomes their new lover. I won't say ALL but it has happened to me twice, personally (and considering I've only had 3 lovers- that's over half). When my now bf bought PS3 and a computer game I cried. I feared the worst. He's a wonderful man who hasn't turned into a gaming mute but, it could have happened. LIkely these girls who are saying this were just like me- fearing becoming second best to a game- and that hurts. Just attempt to understand where these girls are coming from and it may make you a little more sypathetic as to why they're saying this.

However, I do agree with you completely it's not all men, it's just in THEIR experience it could have been so to protect themselves which is their right they choose not to be put into another threatening situation if they have the choice.

[Gigabitch]

At the risk of offending people, I must confess that I find playing video games to be a completely pointless endeavor. It is NOT the same thing as going out to lunch with your friends, because that entails interfacing with other people. Playing video games does not, even if you're playing with friends, you're not paying attention to them, you're paying attention to the game. I've never been able to play a video game for any length of time without starting to feel that it was a huge waste of my time, my attention and myself.

[lahnnabell]

I tend to agree with Giga on this front..

I think that is why more men than women are attracted to gaming. Like drinking or watching sports, it's a way for someone to escape the reality of their lives. I find that women (this assessment is based on my female vs. male friends) are much better about dealing with problems head-on. We're not content to let things fester, and desire to resolve conflict in our lives. In my experience, men are perfectly content to wallow and shirk responsibility if it means they can spend hours on an activity that takes their mind off of it. This is most certainly very counter-productive.

Many men are also content to use a video game win as an ego boost. Yeah, it takes great hand-eye coordination and all that jazz, but it's still just you, a controller, and an electrical box that produces an imaginary world. You're not really a hero. You didn't really just shoot 20 men and save all those hostages.

[IncognitoSir]

I tend to agree with Giga on this front..

I think that is why more men than women are attracted to gaming. Like drinking or watching sports, it's a way for someone to escape the reality of their lives. I find that women (this assessment is based on my female vs. male friends) are much better about dealing with problems head-on. We're not content to let things fester, and desire to resolve conflict in our lives. In my experience, men are perfectly content to wallow and shirk responsibility if it means they can spend hours on an activity that takes their mind off of it. This is most certainly very counter-productive.

Many men are also content to use a video game win as an ego boost. Yeah, it takes great hand-eye coordination and all that jazz, but it's still just you, a controller, and an electrical box that produces an imaginary world. You're not really a hero. You didn't really just shoot 20 men and save all those hostages.

I'm quite sure that gaming is nothing like drinking or watching sports for someone to escape the reality of their lives. Sure their are exceptions but for the most part, its all just for fun. Something else to do. I believe men are more attracted to gaming because of it's competitive nature because men are......competitive by nature. Not to say that women aren't but us guys thrive on it hence why we doing anything to catch game 7 of the NBA Finals last night (which was awesome by the way!) I think BOYS might use gaming as an ego boost but a real man definetly realizes its just a game and means absolutely nothing besides being another form of pure competition.

[lahnnabell]

Well, however you want to put, it just means that there are a lot of man-boys out there.

Yes, men are competitive. However, video gaming skills are quite different from the physicality of a soccer or football game. It's much more attractive to watch a shirtless man sweat on the field than to watch your boyfriend's eyes glaze over as he completes another level of MW2.

[lahnnabell]

Case in point. YES. Yes, in so many ways.

This is most likely what women tend to deal with when they have a boyfriend that likes video games. I've never EVER seen a guy have a clean and organized set-up. It usually looks like this.

[girl68]

I'm sorry OP- but what these last 2 posts is why girls don't like it 'casue this is all we've been exposed to.

[IncognitoSir]

Well, however you want to put, it just means that there are a lot of man-boys out there.

Yes, men are competitive. However, video gaming skills are quite different from the physicality of a soccer or football game. It's much more attractive to watch a shirtless man sweat on the field than to watch your boyfriend's eyes glaze over as he completes another level of MW2.

Who said we play games or sports to "attract" females? You're missing the perspective here. Sure there's a difference in video gaming skills and the physicality of a soccer or football game, but they both satisfy the competitive spirit in us.

[IndiReloaded]

At the risk of offending people, I must confess that I find playing video games to be a completely pointless endeavor. It is NOT the same thing as going out to lunch with your friends, because that entails interfacing with other people. Playing video games does not, even if you're playing with friends, you're not paying attention to them, you're paying attention to the game. I've never been able to play a video game for any length of time without starting to feel that it was a huge waste of my time, my attention and myself.

Hey! I play Wii with my family and its a lot of fun... we also sometimes play a strategy game against each other over the internet (we each have our own laptop). Its a riot with the 3 of us sitting in the room beating on each other.

[lahnnabell]

I wasn't saying men do it to attract women. However, they certainly wouldn't mind if women DO find it attractive either. I was simply illustrating the difference between the two (physical sports vs. video games) based on how many women see it.

Video games = sitting down in one position for a long period of time, little to no conversation (unless you count screaming at the TV), late nights/sleeping in. All of this is fine in moderation. But I'd pick physical sports = sweat, shirtless man, muscles, running, skills, work-out, blood pumping, SEX.

[xxazurexx]

Each to their own, but I personally wouldn't like to be with a guy who played on a PS3. I have no interest in these games myself, never even had a go or a desire to play on one and I've never had a partner who owned one or played on one either. I like ambitious guys who are going places in life....not a one who lounges around the house beating imaginary people to death, or scoring umpteen goasl in a fantasy world. Maybe it's something to do with my age though - I tend to think video games are for the younger generation. My daughter has one and she is school age.

My sisters partner just spends his life, dossing around and playing on one. How the heck she puts up with him I don't know. His time would be better spent, looking for a job and actually doing something worthwhile.

[IncognitoSir]

lol, ok. Sounds like you might have a personal experience to go along with your position on this issue, but I understand what you mean. Personally i do all that, and yeah, I've dropped my controller plenty of times to hit the court or the field rather than the game lobby but I compete on both levels. Sports, bodybuilding, and gaming. I think we can both agree that gaming like anything else should be used in moderation. (your signature is looking at me like, "what else you got to say punk?") LOL