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Thread: What does it mean when a guy says to message him?

  1. #1
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    What does it mean when a guy says to message him?

    Recently, I suggested going to an event with a guy I'm interested in that we both were planning on going to anyway(it came up in conversation). He messaged me later that night and said to text in the morning to figure out meeting up. I met up with him and his friend (he mentioned when I said about going that his friend was going too). The day ended up being really fun; we all got along pretty well and it didn't feel awkward or anything. Then during the week, he messaged me about hanging out on Saturday. I had already made plans so I suggested Sunday instead. This time it was just the two of us and we hung out for awhile. Afterwards, he said that he was going to be busy on the weekend but that if I was doing anything during the week to message him. I wanted to get other people's perspectives on how to take that.

    Is he being "lazy" by telling me to take initiative? Which I don't mind, but I don't want to be the only one either; I want to know he's interested in me enough to contact me first and not wait for me to contact him. Is he thinking that it's my turn to ask (he messaged first about the weekend, so he did take the initiative; I only offered an alternative suggestion because I couldn't go then)? I guess the other part of this is if he's interested in me as friends or possibly to date (and right now just getting to know me better)? I suppose if I do end up messaging him this week, then I would wait for him to figure out something to do the next time so it's not always me making plans/suggesting things (again I want to know he wants to spend time with me).

  2. #2
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    vashti is offline Hot love muffin guru
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    I think he has already demonstrated initiative. Is the real issue that you don't want to be the one always making the plans? (Not an invalid concern, BTW.) If yes, then send him a text telling him you would like to get together if he is available on __________, and to let you know if he is available and can think up something to do.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

  3. #3
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    You've gone out only twice...it's much too early to tell if he is going to be a non-initiator.

    Vashti has got it right, he is somewhat leaving the ball in your court and has been honest about a busy weekend, but he clearly wants to get together during the week. If you pick a day, I'm sure he'll be available if you text him.

    Go for it! You have good signs right now!

  4. #4
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    He probably does not have a busy week and assumes yours may be busier than his. In that case, it is more practical for you to initiate the plans, as he is more likely to be free on a given day than you are (as far as he knows).

  5. #5
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    Because he has already initiated, then I'd have no problem with initiating a message and as he asked you too. You have got to show your interest too.

    Never show him more interest, than he is paying you though. It's like a game of tennis...he bats, then you bat the ball back.

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