lost

[xenoxtasy0]

I recently broke up with my girlfriend because I was holding her back from living her life and traveling around the world. it was the day before she was planning to go backpacking to china for 2-3months.

We had a talk prior to the break up about how she chose me over her dream school and how i took her for granted and how selfish i was. I never wanted to break up but it seemed like she be better off without me. I tried not to let her decision to chose me over her dream school get to me but it broke me.

I locked myself from the world for the next 2 weeks trying to sort out the remains of my life. I become depressed and stopped talking to my friends. my parent didnt like this so they wanted me to talk to a therapist and i did.

Things were starting to get better and i was breaking out of this spell i had but then yesterday night she showed up at my door. Home 2 months early from her backpacking trip. honestly I loved her but i cant us together like i used to. we talked and it ended with her best friend driving her home crying.

an hour later, she texts "i lied about my dream school to make you feel bad and now ill regret it forever". after reading that I lost myself. I got drunk just so i could bang my head against my bedroom wall without feeling it.

I need any advice you can give because I dont anything anymore.

[irrelevant_89]

Well, I don't know much about these things but I think one thing I've learned: it's best not to look back. After all, she brought this upon herself. It sounds like she wanted to go have her little backpacking journey with no strings attached, so she made up a whole argument to make you feel bad about yourself, and now she wanted you again because it's "convenient" for her again. Mature people don't handle relationships like that.

All you've gotta say is tough luck for her. Get that piece of past behind you and keep on going. Better things will come... believe me.

[cmacattack1]

You have to stop beating yourself up about this. You cannot change what has happened and you have made mistakes, and she made mistakes as well. She is not this mindless drone, she is a functioning and capable person and is able to make her own decision. She chose to be with you over her dream school, and if it doesn't work out in the end, she has to accept responsibility for her actions. While she can't help how she feels, she is completely in control of her actions. You did not make her do anything. Cut yourself a little break and stop being so hard on yourself.

Being a person that feels incredibly guilty about everything I do wrong, I can certain sympathize and understand. If you could and would like to go more in depth of your relationship, I would be more than happy to read and offer whatever advice I possibly could to help shed some light on your situation. It sounds like you have alot more to talk about then what you provided here.

Did you really break up with her because of how guilty you felt? Especially as young guys, we all are too common in our selfishness and immaturity. If you recognize this and are instituting life style changes to better help you become a more well rounded and grown person, you are working on yourself. You have to make the effort and not just be satisfied with who you are. I mean you are who you are, but that doesn't mean you have to be a person with glaring flaws. It's possible to change and it should be something you are focused on more so than your girlfriend. She may feel attached to you and not want to give up on her investment in you, but if you guys weren't happy and aren't happy, you made the right decision, even if it hurts so much.

[roy_delene]

i guess it worked you felt really bad. I don't have any idea why some one would break another persons heart like she did. Don't take her back who knows what else she might hurt you with. There has got to be somebody better than that out there don't give up hope