Hi, and thanks for reading. Obviously I am looking for some opinions and advice. I will try and make it as short as possible.


Short story followed by more detail:
Long distance relationship with the goal of moving together in the next few months and getting married in the near future, 6 months or so. After being very sexual she now says she is going into abstinence mode, no sex, no taking car of herself either. More detail below....


Met girl that I knew from school, but hadn't seen in 15 years. There is 1000 miles of distance between us. She and I are both mid 30s. Started out as just flirting and we fell in love. She was talking about wanting to be my wife after two months of being in a relationship long distance style. I've been there to see her twice. I do know that I felt the love we had and it was beautiful.

We had some issues start a week ago. She was dealing with some depression and financial problems. We took a step back and didn't talk much. Now she has said she needed to step back and make sure what she was feeling was real and not just being caught up in the excitement of it. Says she knows without a doubt it's real and would marry me tomorrow if I asked. She has trouble dealing with the distance but said it will happen when it's meant to happen. I will move as soon as I find work in the area.

I am going to see her next week. She said she is now practicing abstinence, doesn't want her decisions to be clouded by sex. Wants me there when I am ready, is in love with me without question.

Here is where I am lost. If you don't want sex to cloud your judgment, how can you be sure I am what you want? I could deal with it for a little while, but to wait until we are actually married is going to be too long. Too difficult to live together, sleep together, and not have it. Going without it physically is tough enough, but emotionally it is torture.

Any opinions? Is she testing me to see if all I wanted was sex? Is it a phase, or does a 35 year old woman who was very sexual just decide one day that she shouldn't be?

To be clear, I love this woman and would marry her tomorrow as well if I had a job and could move there so soon. Not get married for sex, but because she is who I want and who I enjoy. At the same time, I know I won't be able to deal with living together and sex not be a part of our relationship. I know it would end, and don't want to drag i out if that is the most ikely outcome.

Thanks