He buys a ring, but wants to talk before we decide if we're even dating...???

[Aphik]

Hi guys...I've been seeing a guy for a few years now. He was dating someone the first 4 years I knew him, but there was still an attraction between us. We became really close friends. They broke up a year and a half ago. We didn't pursue our own relationship until a year after they broke up. He took me on a business trip with him. He took me to his sister's wedding. He began introducing me to his close friends and family, but we still weren't 'official.' So a couple of weeks ago, I found an IM convo between him and an ex (not the most recent one). It was sexual in nature and I believe she came down to his house that night. I confronted him about it, and he denied she ever came down, but not having the conversation. I asked him what it was about and he couldn't explain. Even though we weren't official, he called me all the time throughout the day, we regularly saw each other, we were sleeping together, he got mad if he thought I was hanging with another guy...so I thought we had just started dating without really saying it. I was pissed and didn't talk to him for a week. After a week, he showed up at my door with an engagement ring. But then he didn't know what to say. I asked him what he was asking me and he couldn't really give me a clear answer. Four days later, I asked him if I was allowed to show off the ring. He said he wanted to talk first about whether we wanted to date. What?! Why would he show up with a ring at my door, and now we're still not official? I am very confused. Please help!

[vashti]

Give back the ring. You don't want to look at this ring in 25 years, only to remember the shady circumstances surrounding the time he have it to you.

[xxazurexx]

This ring, keeps you hanging on in there and that is the 'real' purpose of it. He likely felt he had to resort to a ring and to keep you around and after you found the convo between he and an ex. This ring is a pretence on his part and to have you believe that he thinks more of you, than he actually does. Keeps ya hanging on in there you see and living in hope - meantime it's securing him, what he wants and for as long as he wants.

Think about it. If this man was serious about you, he'd want you to shout it from the rooftops and he wouldn't mind who you told....he'd go PUBLIC!

[LailaK]

When someone proposes you want them to be sure that they love you and want you forever. He is not. Give back the ring and tell him to propose to you again once he's grown up.

[Gigabitch]

He sounds insane. Give his ring back and change your phone number.