need some advice plz

[jerzydevil]

can any women guide me
in the right direction ? I'm
lost
here's the story my gf and I have been together for 4 yrs and have two young children, we've had a very very rough relationship I left her at one point and after i returned she had an affair an now were tryin to work things out. Well at least I am anyway an she says she is but here's the thing for the past few months since we've decided to mend our relationship I've tried to do all the sweet nice things I did in the begining of our relationship, sweet notes and txts for her at all hours of the day, flirting with her, telling her how
much I love her and miss her when I'm not with her,telling her how gorgeous she is always doing things out
of the norm make her chocolate covered strawberries for lunch I iron her uniforms an make her lunch for work because she has a tough work schedule, i offer her massages and to shower with her constantly and no matter what she rejects me most of the time. She always tells
me I'm the best she's ever had sexually an that she's still very attracted to me if I ask her but no matter what I do she turns me down all the time and it's really really starting to hurt me. I have no doubts we love each other but I think she's repulsed by me sometimes and I don't know what's going on. I'm crazy about her and I try to show her that all the time but she's oblivious to it and acts like nothing I do ever excites her or has an affect on her, keep in mind we have been arguing alot since her affair and I think she's hung up on this other guy physically an that's why she rejects me so much. I personally think our physical relationship is dead and for me it's ruining our relationship because it's constant rejection from someone I'm so in love with.
Does anyone have any advice or insight cuz I'm losin my
mind over it and pretty soon it's gonna end our relationship because I can't take much more rejection from her I'd rather just stop trying then to try an get turned down or ignored all the time!

Sorry if i posted in the wrong thread im new to the forum lol

[Gigabitch]

Sounds like you're trying to work it out and she isn't. Would you agree with that?

[Natlee]

You are trying and trying to make it work and she is doing nothing. Was it a long affair she had? If you don't sort it out soon sounds like your gonna give up and i don't blame you. You need to tell her if this is how its going to be then you're going to give up fighting for this relationship and see if she bucks up her ideas.

[jerzydevil]

Honestly yes I agree it's just tough to decide because we've had alot of arguments since her affair most of them caused by me because of what happened an my anger about it. She always works tough hours and alot of hours an she says she's always so drained or consumed by work and our other family needs that she has no energy to even flirt back sometimes she does but it's rare and when I try to have fun with her while she's at work it anything like that she wants no part of it. I don't
get it any other woman I know would be drooling over the nice things I do for her I'm
very thoughtful and emotionally involved and she's not to begin with so to a degree I understand but I mean what woman wants to be with a guy she doesn't want sexually ? we still have sex an great sex at that most of the time but she never wants to have fun with it an that kills my
lust for her. The one thing that passes through my mind is that she gets very upset because she always thinks I'm miserable around her an I'm not I just haven't been able to fully get over her affair yet so I do get upset over it alot but she can't understand that if shed just enjoy the things I do for her an actually enjoy doing for her it would be alot easier to get over what she did.
thanks for your input Giga.

[jerzydevil]

I've told her alot and almost
left after the affair but she asked me plz to stay an work it out so I did and sometimes I feel like it's my fault for always arguing aboutnher affair . it only turned physical once as far as I know but the affairnitself actually lasted about 9 months.

[Gigabitch]

She seems like she's still getting her needs met elsewhere. She's not acting like a girl around you at all. No needs? I don't buy it.

[jerzydevil]

that's what I'm afraid of I think she just wants someone different I don't wanna give up but it's getting close to that point it sux bein so hurt by someone you love so much on a daily basis