She Questions Her Future With Me Now.. :(

[Neomic]

I've been seeing a girl for almost a year now, and we've dated on and off since then (we mutually agreed to wait until she was 18 to date for the sake of her parents "approval"). I'm 20 and she's 17. There's nothing sexual going on between us, and both of us have strong morals for that, but we've actually talked about having a future together (marriage) on several occasions.

Things were going really well, her and I have never been in a serious argument. Recently though, my parents (whom I unfortunately still live with) have been having some issues. For some reason, this seemed to turn her off, and now she's saying that she can't see herself marrying me anymore.

My friend told me to just not say anything else about the problems, and act like she never said that. Things seem to be on track again, but I can't say for sure anymore. It kinda worries me because I'm in love with her.

I just need some opinions/advice on how to handle this.

[Gigabitch]

I'm going to need some detail about exactly what happened.

It probably wasn't your parents' problems but how you handled them that put her off. If, for instance, your mom found out your dad was having an affair and you took his side, I could see that being a red flag for a girlfriend.

[Kaius]

I noticed girls don't like guys who are overly dependent on their parents. A healthy close relationship with the parents is cool.... but if every decision you make involves your parents, then that is a turn off.

[Neomic]

I'm going to need some detail about exactly what happened.

It probably wasn't your parents' problems but how you handled them that put her off. If, for instance, your mom found out your dad was having an affair and you took his side, I could see that being a red flag for a girlfriend.

Not an affair, nothing like that at all. My parents were having some communication problems, and they got into a lot of arguments. This was maybe a little over a week ago... I would even talk to her about what was going on, and 99.9% of the time we would both be on the same page and have a common opinion about what was going on between them. When she told me she couldn't see us getting married anymore (which was last Friday, I think), her exact words were "I just don't like your family's history." I don't know if maybe I was just stressing her out by talking to her about it, so I never brought it up again until yesterday when she asked how they were doing, and I said "good, they've gotten things back together" and she seemed happy about that.

Things have gotten back to normal with them, and things seem to be kind of headed the same direction with us I think..? We still talk on the phone about every night, and text each other all the time. I just don't know if it's safe to talk about what her opinion of "us" is anymore, or if maybe I should just go with the flow and wait 'til she brings "us" up? I have no idea what to do.

[Gigabitch]

Wow, what a weird reason for not wanting to marry someone, unless your family's history is objectionable in some way that you haven't told us.

[vashti]

She's just a kid, my friend. She probably still has stuffed animals in her bedroom. It is way too soon for either of you to be thinking about marriage, one way or the other. Just enjoy the time you are spending together now. There is not need to be so heavy at 17. (or at 20)

[Neomic]

Wow, what a weird reason for not wanting to marry someone, unless your family's history is objectionable in some way that you haven't told us.

That's why I was so confused about it, because my parents have been happily married for 22 years now, and have had no problems that any other married couple would face on a day-to-day basis really.

She's just a kid, my friend. She probably still has stuffed animals in her bedroom. It is way too soon for either of you to be thinking about marriage, one way or the other. Just enjoy the time you are spending together now. There is not need to be so heavy at 17. (or at 20)

This is very true, I guess. It just worried me because I definitely love her.

[Natlee]

It's too early for marriage yet or to even be discussing it, your both still young so don't take her saying she does not think she could marry you to heart, it is not like you are engaged and she is calling it off.

[Gaby09]

Well she's only 17 I think it's too soon to talk about marriage. Maybe some years later..Just give her some space