Good friend's girlfriend

[Aesp]

About 5 months ago I started hanging out with a friend that I hadn't seen much of in the last couple years. He was in what I can only describe as possibly the worst relationship I've ever seen. They we constantly fitting and argueing, large arguments several times a day which would almost always end with her in tears. He pretty much had stopped caring about her at all while she just couldn't seem to let go.

I became very close with her and my intentions we're to be there for her as a friend as she had basically none left, which I assume was playing a large role in her not being willing to leave despite how he was treating her. About a month ago she revealed to me that she had feelings for me other than as a friend. Not wanting to ruin my friendship with my buddy (her bf), I simply told her that I will always be there for her but as a FRIEND.

I then spent another month listening to my buddy tell me how much he hates her and wants nothing to do with her while still putting her in tears daily. About a week ago I noticed a big shift in her attitude, she seemed finally ready to move on and realized she needed to so she could be happy. We talked again about how she felt about me and this time I told her that I did have other feelings for her. After seeing him make her cry so many times I just didn't feel it was inappropriate for me to say any more even if he was my good friend. The next night while the 3 of us were hanging out she basically told him what we talked about and broke up with him to be with me (I didn't know this was going to happen, all I had told her was I think I had feelings for her too).

My buddy obviously got pissed although I must give him credit for handleing the whole situation quite well actually. To my surprise he pretty much begged her to stay with him, promising he would be a different person. After everything he's put her through, now that she is finally willing to leave and seems over him, he won't let her go. They are staying together for now and I'm worried that he's just going to make her fall for him agian and just hurt her again. Quite frankly I don't think he deserves to be with her after what he's done but I'm worried I might lose 2 friends if I say anything. He's told me he doesn't want any interference while he trys to fix things. I'm trying to do that but I'm having many different thoughts. What should I do?

[Mish]

I think you've already lost two friends. You shouldn't have intervened. You were completely out of line.

[IndiReloaded]

This is how it goes.... guys should NOT let their buddy's GFs vent to them. Ever.

Tell your friend (your guy friend) that you were temporarily insane and that you wish him and her all the best. Mean it. Then disappear for a while and get your own head straight on things. Chances are, you are confusing love and compassion (for her situation). It happens. But the only way to extricate yourself now is to back way off from them both.

If they stay together, suck it up. Be his friend and avoid contact with her. Getting your own girlfriend would be a good idea. If they break up, stay away until things stabilize. If you find you still have some feelings to explore with her you can figure it out then.