How do I convince him we should move on?

[DyvyneDyme]

I have been dating my bf for 2 years. I am in marketing and he is a tradesman, we are in our mid 20s and we make over $85k a year combined. We moved in together in January, to his place where we rent 2 rooms on the basement of a house where an older gentleman lives upstairs. We also have a dog.

We live in the basement in 2 rooms and we have our own bathroom. We do not have a kitchen. I cook on a hot plate and a toaster oven and wash our dishes in the bathroom sink. I am not permitted to use the kitchen upstairs too much becuase the man upstairs wants his privacy and doesn't like us upstairs too much. The dog is not allowed to use the back yard as we have to go upstairs to access the back porch.

I moved in with him becuase he wants to buy a house and he needed to save money for a year. I thought that a short term sacrifice for our future and it would be ok. Now, a year later by partner has not saved enough money for his house and wants to live there for another year and I just can't take it anymore.

I miss having my own home, especially my own kitchen where I can cook meals for my family and have friends over for dinner parties. I have asked my bf if we can move to a modest place where we can still save money but he said no. We pay $600 per month for us both but my bf has to do all the yard work and I have to clean extra parts of the house upstairs so we pay less.

I want to move but my bf won't go even tho he hates it because it's cheap. I know he feels a bit attached because he helps the man upstairs but I need a kitchen and the dog needs a back yard to play. i have tried talking to him but he just won't budge, what can I do to keep my relationship and my sanity both?

[TheTooya]

Suggest getting a mortgage for a place you know you and your boyfriend can easily afford?

[DyvyneDyme]

I have suggested that we move to a place we can easily afford, but the answer is always no. We may $600 and we can easily pay $800 but the answer is no. We are not hard up for cash we are both working adults but its seems he is just too comfortable and not considering the needs of myself or the dog.

[TheTooya]

Then just get a lease for a new place and live by yourself. If hes stubborn to stay in the shittier place, its his problem.

[Gigabitch]

Move out. This guy is weird. You cook on an effing hot plate? Oh, hell no. Not another year, not another month. Pack and go.

[xxazurexx]

I couldn't live rough like that, I'd want a proper home. I'd get your own place. He likely won't be long in following.

[l337acc]

Pfft, move out. He will eventually follow your lead when you stop going over there..

[lahnnabell]

You make 85K a year and you're living like this? That is absurd.

What you should be concerned with is his obvious lack of a desire to grow with you. Something about living the way he does is keeping him locked into a very childish mentality where he gets to set the rules and tell you "No" when he doesn't like the options. This is not someone who will change anytime soon and you will quickly grow to resent him for this. Get out now.

[Mish]

If he's refusing to move to a different place and has refused every other option on the table then I think the only alternative is for you to move out. He can't stop you from doing that. Then when he's ready to move to a place resembling a home you could consider joining him.