Do you think this is fair??

[jessZ]

I posted a few weeks back about my bf not being ready to move in with me. It was difficult to deal with at the time, but I'm over it now. If he isn't ready, he just isn't and that is valid. Anyway, he is looking for a place on his own (to rent) and has made a point of looking in suburbs close to me so that it will be easier to catch up (both have really crazy work/family/gym/other commitments). He has found a place close to mine but since then my landlord has imposed a rent increase on my place and so I want to move in with my sister. On the other side of the city. Quite far from my bf's new place.

Now he is upset, saying I should have considered him. I feel confused, as I have been accepting of the fact that he isn't ready to move in with me, and have therefore made a decision independently of the relationship (as he has for himself), and yet he is the one feeling annoyed/hurt. I'm really usure of how to proceed with this. Any advice/thoughts would be wonderful. Thanks in advance :-)

[returnofthezro]

tell him to man up, it might just be that time of the month for him, really what are you supposed to do, pay extra for the convenience of being close to him, you have already offered him to move in and he declined, which is fair enough, now you have to take care of you

bottom line, he is being selfish and only thinking of himself, i think with some time to cool off and evaluate, he will see it from a logical point of view, if he doesnt explain, that the only reason you are moving is financial, if he still doesnt get it, ask him to pay the rent hike or at least half of it, i am pretty sure he will accept it after that

[QueenofCorona]

It is what it is. Seems like he has no room to bitch about anything. He sort of brought this on himself.

[Regnent]

While it's not fair, it's an understandable reaction.
His feeling about your move are valid, -but- he also made his own choice.

You don't need to understand his feelings, just acknowledge them as his.
If he keeps pressing it, remind him that you were required to accept his independence, and he needs to accept yours. (Alternatively, and in hindsight, ask him if he would have paid the difference out of his pocket)

[davidtorres]

moving in is a big thing for guys. i bet he feels that he doesnt have any say if he moves in with you and he wants to change something in the apartment. anyhow, you need to understand that its different to be in a relationship and moving in. moving in for us is technically married.