Can early heartbreak have long-lasting effects?

[Pennywise3000]

Many moons ago, when I was in high school (I'm a 22 male, and in college now), I had a crush on this pretty young girl who I supposed was around my age. Long story short, when I finally worked up the power to tell her about how I felt about her she evidently didn't take too kindly to it. I initially took it fairly hard, but got over it like a couple of days later...or at least I thought. Years later, I find the same girl I "loved" has a Facebook account and I browsed through the several photos she posted. She hadn't aged a day, still as beautiful as she was!

The biggest thing that concerns me about this is if this early rejection "broke me" when it comes to attempting creating romantic partnerships with other people. I say this because ever since that emotional blow to me I have had no interest whatsoever in seeking a romance with anyone even today. Even when I was still in high school in the days afterward I didn't approach anyone else with such feelings as I did the particular girl who turned me down. Although I otherwise have no trouble just casually communicating with the opposite sex. Would you believe I'm even still a virgin?! As I watch my brother go through girlfriend after girlfriend (he seems to get another every couple of years or so, it varies depending on the girl he's dating, and he's 2-3 years younger than me), it makes me wonder of this rejection from years past caused me to "miss a milestone" so to speak. I've never considered myself the kind of person that actually "needs" someone special in my life, but as of late this has been kind of haunting me and I don't fully understand why.

Anyone have any words of wisdom or care to shed any light on this? I even went searching elsewhere on the net about similar subjects, but I couldn't find any information that directly relates to my ordeal or exactly what I'm thinking about: can early rejection scar some people for life? Because I think I may be one of hose kinds of people.

[goodb2]

Sounds to me almost like it may be a subconcious fear of getting rejected again. If the first time you ever put yourself out there you get shot down it is reasonable to assume your confidence is going to be severely dented and affects some more then others. Try building your confidence around women and one day you may be ready to put yourself out there once again.

[Vain]

I don't think it would be right to say that what your feeling is not normal. Everyone has there own way of dealing with rejection, loss or heartbreak. My friend has been depressed because he got rejectedin high school many years ago. He is 25 now I beleive. It seriously put a damper on everything in his life and early on he was really rough.

So like previously stated try and build your confidence up. If your still in college try doing some networking, join some clubs or sports teams. Just talk to people, get yourself out there man and even if you don't necessarily meet any women at these places you could meet friends of women and such.

Well you even said you don't imagine yourself with a special person or anything but if that ever changes. These social events could give you confidence and skill to at least pursue something of your desire whether it be a girl, career or whatever.

[Infern0]

Yeah it can, it can make you not want to take risks again. It's a hard thing to overcome, you just have to realise that you need to take risks to get anywhere, the partner of your dreams isnt going to knock on your door and ask you to marry you out of the blue.

[TheTooya]

Oh the high school reject...

I am currently a Graduate student, but I remember asking one girl out in my Junior year of high school. I forgot all the details, I think something like I asked her out, she said no, I asked again, she said yes out of pity... I realized, and cancelled the date.

I was... pretty devastated for a good month or two. BUT, I had to pick myself. Instead of feeling pathetic, I asked myself "why" I was rejected. I looked at what other people did, how they dressed, how they acted... and I really just, adapted. Before then, I was the shy reserved guy who wore the same outfit everyday (different clothing of course)... and I became the obnoxious spaz that would light up the party when things got boring.

If that little story meant anything, ask yourself why you got rejected, and IMPROVE. Don't mope or cry about it, but understand what about you did she find revolting.

Good luck