Wow, what a misunderstanding

[Jam3s]

Well this-morning was an eye opening conversation for me. Been dating this girl online for a few months now and I noticed over the past few days she seemed to be less happy and didn't seem as excited to talk to me. Anyway she came online and asked me why we do not seem to be more serious when we talk generally and it's more joking around etc and as a result she felt like it was more of a 'friend" relationship than one with someone you wish to be with romantically.

The truth is, I was holding back my true feelings and being flirty/sexual innuendo with her on purpose because I didn't want to appear to be coming on too strongly and scare her away for seeming like a creep but it seems by doing that I was actually pushing her away anyway because she felt I was not that interested in her since I was not being flirty!!

Haha seems my naivety got the better of me. So I suppose what it really comes down to is simply being yourself and opening up, and if you are being too forthcoming then they will tell you but this has taught me that holding back can do more harm than good. Like a light bulb for me, damn I am not so good at this dating game haha.

Anyway, time to scoodattle.

[xxazurexx]

Positive story and for all those guys, who oddly seem to think that to get a girls interest/and keep it, they have to hold back...wtf?

Holding back, sure does come off across as 'no interest' and that is defo how we interpret it.

If you have an interest, show it and don't be afraid to show it. She aint going nowhere and if that interest is mutual....as was proven ^^

[Jam3s]

Yeah for sure, really just a lack of experience on my behalf. I am just thankful she told me and did not walk away, would never have forgiven myself and would have also been super confused so it was very important to hear that.

[qwertz]

have you actually met her? You cant be 'dating' if you dont actually see each other.

[Jam3s]

What else would you call it? Certainly wouldn't say we are bf/gf with not having met her yet (meeting in a month though and spending 2 weeks together) but I mean we have been more or less "seeing" eachother for 3 months so I think it certainly deserves some kind of title and I can't really think of anything else.

[xxazurexx]

I don't class it as 'dating' either and if you have never met. How can you date over the internet? And you can't do things over the net, that you do on a 'real' date with someone.

You have arranged to spend 2 weeks together and despite not even if you are going to 'click'. What happens if you meet her and there is no chemistry at all...will you still want to remain with her for 2 weeks? Maybe you should have met first, see if you were going to get along and then arrange a 2 week stay and later. People can be very different in real life you know.