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Thread: Will I marry my high school sweetheart?

  1. #1
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    Will I marry my high school sweetheart?

    I've been dating my current boyfriend for 10 months since senior year started (I know it doesn't sound long but we spent nearly everyday together, and started off as intimate best friends for a year prior to that). I've known him vaguely since middle school, but ever since we met again in junior year it's been an unstoppable attraction. I trust him entirely, and all my friends say he is a great boyfriend who lovs me unconditionally and never fails to make me feel loved. We fight of course when we differ in opinion but everytime we come back to each other because the negativity isn't worth wasting our time together. We're both chinese and have similar backgrounds, and although his educational standard has been much lower than mine, I believe him when he says that he'll work as hard as he can in college so that I will stay with him.
    We are now both going off to colleges two and a half hours away from each other. We are crazy in love, even if people say we're too young to know what love is. He says he will visit me every 2 weeks for the weekend, and that if I don't break up with him he will marry me. We have talked about an open relationship but decided to stay 100% loyal, and are fully aware that college is a changing experience. I know that I want to experience every milestone in my life with him, because he is the one person that can make me truly happy. I have heard time and time again the classic "everyone breaks up in college" or "you're going to be a completely different person when you grow up," but I feel like he's as close to me as family and that letting him go wouldn't even be possible.
    Can anyone give me an opinion on what our future might be like? And share personal experiences?

  2. #2
    girl68's Avatar
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    Everyone who had a first love thought like you do. Nearly every single one of them broke up and ended up with other lovers. I'm sorry but it is very, very, very doubtful you will end up together. Not impossible just highly unlikely. Love doesn't always keep people together people in love break up all the time for reasons like (wanting to experiment, date others, sleep with other, cheating, wanting kids, not wanting kids, wanting to move, careers aspirations, parental restrictions, sexual imcompatibility the list really does go on...)

    Just be aware it CAN happen is just often doesn't everything is against your favor in this one.

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    When I grew up and fell in love
    I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
    Will we have rainbows day after day
    Here's what my sweetheart said

    Que sera, sera
    Whatever will be, will be
    The future's not ours to see
    Que sera, sera
    What will be, will be
    Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
    Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
    Towards the sun, carry your name
    In warm hands you are given
    Ask the wind for the way
    Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
    Accept all as it is and do not blame
    God or the Devil
    ~Born to Live - Mavrik~

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    So I fell in love with someone we were together for 6 or 7 years and I thought we'd get married...I mean hello 7 years if you aren't heading there you wouldn't still be together..duh. So anyway...we grew up more, didn't really grow apart more or anything, but realized that although for years of my life of him being my best friend and true love....that it wasn't like that any more. I put up with him being an ass, then being the sweetest guy ever..no matter what. He saw me through my temp license, drivers license, graduation first year of college, court when I decided on who I wanted to live with; mom or dad, my first credit card lol... etc etc etc .... thought I'd marry him and I actually just married the guy who really was it for me. Feelings from the first one and this one are completely different. He was my first love and my first...everything almost other than kiss .... I just didn't feel for him what I feel for my husband (as of July 3rd of this year). The guy I'm currently with is the only one who has ever made me feel this way...6 or 7 years and my first love never made me feel the way my husband does. I'll always have a place in my heart for him, but I'll never feel anything more than ... well pretty much care .... for him again. I broke his heart by leaving him, but if I hadn't, I never would have gotten with my amazing husband. I think we even broke up over him being a jerk, I said forget it, took the "break" he tried keeping me around ... and then ended up telling him I couldn't continue it anymore as much as I cared for him...I couldn't, it didn't feel right anymore...I looked at him just as my best friend...or good friend...not as someone I cared for in that way and I knew that was a problem.

    However .....

    I had a couple of friends that started dating in 8th grade..or sooner I can't remember...they went through high school staying together. They graduated high school and went to college and stayed together...and they got married last year. They stayed together .. they were the ones for each other. Every one called it, every one saw it. They were both really good people, sweet hearts...got king and queen and dances...good grades, party goers .. and 100% completely in love ...... and here they are 9 or 10 years ish ... later, married .. and not splitting up any time soon.


    So as you can see both are definitely possible. I've experienced the "not-so-much" as far as staying together .... and have experienced on the outside of a friend .... two people staying together "high school sweethearts" as they call it.


    Good luck

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    My bf married his ex wife after dating from age 15 to 20. She left him when they were 27 for a man 16 years older than her after having 2 kids and deciding that the mom/wife gig just wasn't for her anymore.

    Not trying to piss on your parade, just saying people really change over 5-10 years. Who they are now isn't necessarily who they'll be in the future. Sadly most people don't change for the better.
    So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
    blue skies from pain.
    Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
    A smile from a veil?
    Do you think you can tell?
    And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
    Hot ashes for trees?
    Hot air for a cool breeze?
    Cold comfort for change?
    And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

  6. #6
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    My ex and I had somewhat of the same start as you yuling. Knew each other since middle school, dated senior year of high school through the end of freshmen year of college. We had one hell of a time, and helped each other grow so so much. Even though I was crushed for a few months after we broke up, I am very grateful I got to share experiences with her and help her grow, too.

    Bottom line is, some last, and some don't. Just know, people change, and that college changes you. I don't want to say I'm a total different person now than I was when I dated my ex, but I sure have changed a lot. Sit back, and let life happen to you.. It's okay to plan for the future, but don't look too far ahead or you might overlook a lot of opportunities.

  7. #7
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
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    I have friends who are high school sweethearts and still married almost 25 years later. I have MORE friends who broke up with their high school loves, including me.

    So, can it happen? Yes. But its extremely unlikely.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  8. #8
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    was the main reason you broke up with him because he was a jerk? if he was a nice guy, really good hearted and kind most of the time except for occasional temperament, would u have considered otherwise?

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