what's wrong with me?

[Wynn]

I'm here for advice. I really need help.
I am not young, about 30. But I have never had a bf before. I know it sounds so wierd. I know I am not les. I know I like guys. But the thing is every time I start to date someone. The first date may go well. And the guys will call me or text me and we talked. But when we hang out like three times, I kinda get tired of these "tricks." The tricks men and women use to know more about each other.Then I will find myself many excuses to stop contacting this guy, like i'm busy, he's not great enough, something like that. I know it's probably not his problem. It's mine. I would get pissed off if he calls me or texts me many times a day. I feel like my private room was invaded.
I really want to have a relationship but everytime I had a chance, I screwed it.
What's wrong with me? SOS! and thanks a lot.

[waytoofat]

what do you mean tricks?

[Wynn]

buying gifts for each other, paying bills for dinners, dressing nicely, showing he cares about you. sort of regular things. probably I shouldn't say tricks. I'm sorry.

[Mish]

Why do you dislike these?

[waytoofat]

you know what i had a large paragraph or 2 and it erased on me when i tried to send it, im too tired to type it again

[JaCzi]

Maybe it because people put on a front to impress other people. When you first start dating someone things are amazing.. because your both so hung up on trying to impress the other person.. and do everything you can for them to like you. you might just want someone who's themselves from the start flaws and all. I'd say make guy friends.. get to know them as mates not someone who's crushing on you.. and they won't do these things. then take it from there?

[Wynn]

thanks, JaCzi. I have some guy friends. I talked to them and understand what they want. But I think I just don't like a relationship goes that way. call each other frequently and check out what you're doing. I just find it annoying.
I need independent space. I need air. Seems hard to find one like this.

and Mishanya, nice paragraph. and thanks.

[girl68]

You find phone calls annoying? Are you scared instead of annoyed? One can have lots of independance in a relationship you don't know because you've never had one.

[Wynn]

He sent me flowers today. I'm kinda panic. I don't know how to respond. Maybe I'm a cowerd. I don't want to be involved in a relationship. I would picture many bad images in my mind. I'm so used to say no to boys that I don't know how to say yes. He's nothing bad, just ordinary guy. I can't find an excuse to say no. I just couldn't say yes. oh my!

[Mish]

Maybe you don't want to be in a relationship right now? And this is your body's way of telling you that