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Thread: Should I move on?

  1. #1
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    Should I move on?

    Hey guys. My girlfriend (now ex girlfriend) recently broke up about a month or so ago, 3 days short of 1 year. We're both 17 and this was the first real relationship either of us had ever had, and we ended up taking each other's virginities. Things got rough with us after about 6 months, we fought a lot and it wasn't the way it used to be. It slowly got worse and we ended up breaking up. It pretty much boiled down to her being very needy, and extremely jealous. I couldn't even say I thought a celebrity was attractive or she would throw a fit, which honestly isn't fair at all because obviously, as a human, i'm going to find other women attractive. I never threw in her face that a celebrity was good looking, even saying it casually made her erupt. So we broke up and I was okay after the first few days, we talked a little after 3 days and we hung out and I told her I wanted to see other people, and she was hysterical. We've kind of been seeing each other, but it's not official at the moment, but to be honest nothing has changed. She's still very jealous and she constantly tells me I'm wrong for not always telling her she's the prettiest girl alive. And I do say it sometimes, but she needs it so much and she's really high maintenance, and it's becoming too much for me. In the meantime, I know another girl that likes me that I kind of like too, but it's really hard to know what the right decision is. I know that things will never be right between me and my ex and we will continue to fight, but we've been together for so long and I'm in high school and I don't even know what's right anymore. Any input at all would be appreciated. Thanks guys.

    Joe

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    Joe-
    You are very young. (I do not mean that in a condescending, "you don't know love" way.) There is many years ahead of you, and your ex girlfriend. You are both young, uncertain, and adventuring into new territory everyday, just as we all are. It only seems now that, perhaps you two are growing in seperate paths. She is very insecure, just as most girls are. So don't expect much of a change out of any woman about their looks or how they feel about themselves. It's just a matter of how that girl/woman takes the feelings they have, and what they do. Do they better themselves? Bottle it up? Or act a little crazy. Speaking as a woman, I have gone through all those emotions, it's difficult and definitely ruins relationships.
    I think that it would be best for both of you to go your seperate ways. If you feel you are getting something out of maintaining a friendship with your ex, then good, but don't expect her to change. That is within herself, and will come when she is ready. It sounds like the same for you, you are just a little more ready for that change.
    Explain to her, how this will benefit herself. Not you. Lets be honest, human nature is selfish. She doesn't need to know about what big plans you have, how you are feeling. Let her know, you feel you are holding her back from receiving her full potential as a woman. You want her to be self-reliant and to see herself as beautiful as you see her. That she deserves the best, and that she is still young and has many years ahead of her, many years of finding who she is. Explain that you don't want to hold her back when you are forking into two seperate paths.
    I know it all sounds a little cliche, but I really hope it helps.

  3. #3
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    You will always love her because she was your first.

    With time you probably would be able to get together again if you choose, but not right now. there is too much anger and jealously.

    Go on, and start seeing other people, will be good for both of you.

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    have you explained to her the reasons that you broke up, like properly? did you explain to her how rubbish it made you feel? maybe at times you even stopped yourself from saying something 'just in case' and it shouldnt be like that cos in relationships you need trust, love, friendship and FUN and you don't sound like youve got any of that at the moment. remember, there's a reason she's your ex. maybe youre meant to be and once she's matured youll both come out the other side as a much happier couple. on the other hand, you probably split up because your gut feeling was telling you this wasn't meant to be. you need to fight for any relationship but it has to be both ways. good luck and don't let either of you do all the chasing.

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    You're too young for an actual "real relationship."

    Chalk it up as an experience. You shouldn't be tied down at this age. You should be dating like a mad man trying to get to know as many girls as you can so you actually know what you want. It seems to me that you just don't know what you want yet.

    Btw, constantly telling her she's a princess is unrealistic. I think it's typical high school stuff. Everyone has unrealistic views at the age. Relationships aren't a fairy tale.. far from it. Takes work. Lots and lots of work.
    I will do my best to reply with an educated, humble and honest answer. Ultimately, it is up to you whether you want to listen to my advice or ignore it completely. Sometimes, my advice may be wrong; occasionally, it will be right. Regardless, I want to do my best to give people answers they are seeking.

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    i was 17 when i was first fell in love. im 21 now and im still with the same girl. its not about age. i was very immatured when we started out. in fact, i have no idea how she fell for me. but over the course of 3 and a half years, after a million fights and arguements, she made me a better person cuz of her patience and love. i now know how stupid i acted back then. if u rili love her then be patient and keep trying.

  7. #7
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    Thanks a lot guys, I will take this all into consideration. I really appreciate it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by adam95 View Post
    i was 17 when i was first fell in love. im 21 now and im still with the same girl. its not about age. i was very immatured when we started out. in fact, i have no idea how she fell for me. but over the course of 3 and a half years, after a million fights and arguements, she made me a better person cuz of her patience and love. i now know how stupid i acted back then. if u rili love her then be patient and keep trying.
    You are still only 21...come back and brag you are still with her when you are 40 years old for gawds sake, then we might say 'WOW, a successful relationship and from when they were 17'....lol

    To the OP....you are 17, she is 17. Relationships from our teens rarely ever last....else the majority of us older ones would still be with our very first love. Chalk it up to experience, because that is what it will highly likely turn out to be and become.

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    Quote Originally Posted by xxazurexx View Post
    You are still only 21...come back and brag you are still with her when you are 40 years old for gawds sake, then we might say 'WOW, a successful relationship and from when they were 17'....lol

    To the OP....you are 17, she is 17. Relationships from our teens rarely ever last....else the majority of us older ones would still be with our very first love. Chalk it up to experience, because that is what it will highly likely turn out to be and become.
    yeah i know i'm still young. but considering all my friends broke up with their first love, i think im in a better situation
    i cant predict the future but I can definitely see me with the same girl even when im 40.

    if this forum is still goin on in 20 years, i'll be back

  10. #10
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    And at 21, I could see me with the same guy forever, who I'd known since the age of 16 too ....and to marry him and have his babies - hell we even had the baby names picked out, lol

    Uhm...didn't quite work out that way.

    We all tend to go into relationships and think 'this is the ONE'.....only time tells if they were or not.

    But I hope it does last for you

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    Sorry it didn't work out for you.I'm sure you'll get some one better.
    I really hope she is the one for me

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    Quote Originally Posted by adam95 View Post
    yeah i know i'm still young. but considering all my friends broke up with their first love, i think im in a better situation
    i cant predict the future but I can definitely see me with the same girl even when im 40.

    if this forum is still goin on in 20 years, i'll be back
    This, my friends, is a primo example of a person living in a fairy tale.

    You're too young to say that stuff. There is no "one". There is no destined partner. From what you've been posting, I can tell you have an immature mentality of relationships.
    Last edited by Raze; 28-07-10 at 03:47 AM.
    I will do my best to reply with an educated, humble and honest answer. Ultimately, it is up to you whether you want to listen to my advice or ignore it completely. Sometimes, my advice may be wrong; occasionally, it will be right. Regardless, I want to do my best to give people answers they are seeking.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raze View Post
    This, my friends, is a primo example of a person living in a fairy tale.

    You're too young to say that stuff. There is no "one". There is no destined partner. From what you've been posting, I can tell you have an immature mentality of relationships.
    well so far i'm enjoying my fairy tale
    I'm not saying i have a lot of experience, 3years isn't a very long time. But so far everything seems like it could actually work out. only time will tell right?

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by adam95 View Post
    Sorry it didn't work out for you.I'm sure you'll get some one better.
    I really hope she is the one for me
    Long time ago hon and I'm long over it. And I did go on to meet other guys, but few compared to him *sighs* lol

  15. #15
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    yeah well, he'll eventually come along and it will be just right. (still in my fairy tale mood )

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