Ejaculation Probs

[Albinoni]

I have been dating this girl for about 7 months now and love her very much, she means alot to me in this world and I treat her with alot of respect. But I have one small problem or shall I say common problem with quite alot of males; "I sometimes find it hard to ejaculate during sex or love making" And this completely upsets her and she thinks by me not coming I dont find her attractive during sex/love making, which is not true at al, because I honestly do love her very much and she means alot to me in my heart and if I didnt like her, than I would of dumped her long time ago. She even mentioned to me once that she doesnt want to have sex with me anymore because it upsets her when I dont come.

There is a famous saying that goes "it takes two to tango", meaning during sex/love making both parties have to do their thing and also before sex to me foreplay is very important and this means on both sides, her and me. But sadly to say before we make love or have sex I will 90% of the time do foreplay on her to stimulate her and get her ready, than get into it, but not the other way around where she would stimulate me i.e so both of us a fired up and ready to make love, seems to be a one way thing. Anyhow during sex she will come in within 3 mins or so, leaving me still going at it untill my time runs out because during intercourse the male has a certain time period before he ejaculates and I end up becoming soft again.

I know as fact she loves me alot as she tells me that everyday in her sms's and I do love as well.

Questions

1. Is this cause by lack of stimulation from her side to me ?

2. Will having more sex often help me with this scenario i.e will help me come quicker ?

3. Is she being selfish ?

4. What can I do to mke her want to have sex and give me a fair go.

Thanks

[Sonrisa]

i'd honestly get a professional opinion

[kitkitkitty]

i think that she should pay more attention to you to turn you on.... give you a little strip show, tease you, give you oral until you feel like you can both have sex and orgasm either together or her then you. she's being selfish but don't hold it against her, just think of different ways to involve both of you in foreplay.

[Sonrisa]

i think that she should pay more attention to you to turn you on.... give you a little strip show, tease you, give you oral until you feel like you can both have sex and orgasm either together or her then you. she's being selfish but don't hold it against her, just think of different ways to involve both of you in foreplay.

ughm, i am sorry, why should girls work extra hard if a guy can't keep it up? i say take Viagra.

[kitkitkitty]

she should at least try. if she's getting most of the foreplay attention it's not gona help. but yeah, if they try that and it's still the same then its a different story.

[Sonrisa]

i wonder is she is attractive enough for him to get a hard on and sustain it...

[Boisdevie]

Perhaps if you are giving her lots of oral she's going to come quick. So how about easing off on the oral which might give you more time to come? Or talk to her and explain that more foreplay from her might help. My fiancee only gives me oral when I kind off insist that she does so you are not alone in giving more than you receive. Good luck.

[kitkitkitty]

7 months.... that's still the honeymoon period right?
and ive heard some stories about viagra gone wrong... they had a heart attack cos their heart was beating too fast and stuff o_0

[Albinoni]

ughm, i am sorry, why should girls work extra hard if a guy can't keep it up? i say take Viagra.

haha your soo funny, whose the one doing all the hard work me, ohhhhhhh pls give me a break.

[Albinoni]

i wonder is she is attractive enough for him to get a hard on and sustain it...

Yes and I love her heaps, bu looks arent everything

[Sonrisa]

Yes and I love her heaps, bu looks arent everything

then unfortunately, young man, the problem lies within you. get yourself tested and fixed.

[Raze]

It's called performance anxiety. You focus so much on ejaculating that you don't enjoy it. It's related to anxiety.

[kitkitkitty]

It's called performance anxiety. You focus so much on ejaculating that you don't enjoy it. It's related to anxiety.

this is true. maybe he's too intent on pleasing her and needs to concentrate on relaxing a bit more?

[Raze]

Correct. That's the cure to performance anxiety. Talk to your doctor. He might be able to help you out. He might recommend therapy or prescribe anti-depressants to help with your anxiety. I would try to avoid taking medication though, especially anti-depressants. Anti-depressants have some nasty side effects (being that I take anti-depressants, I can say this with all honesty). That should be a last resort.

[kitkitkitty]

maybe because you've been in such a pattern you've built it up in your head that you HAVE to satisfy her and only her the whole time? is this one of your first proper relationships? maybe you're scared of letting her down and are trying too hard.