how to make my girl feel good about her weight

[adam95]

hey guys, i need a little help again. let me put it in points so it wont be so long
- about 2years back my girl weighed around 52kg and she was really happy cuz she lost about 20kg
- she started to gain a little and by last year she was 60kg. she was a little sad but i helped her with diet and exercise.
- about 6 months ago she started gaining weight really fast even while on diet and exercising. she started feeling tired quickly and started getting depressed. i took her to the doctor in May and she was diagnosed with mild hypothyroidism. its a metabolic disease of the thyroid which makes it really difficult to lose weight.
- well since the treatment is hormonal therapy, the dose is increased really slowly till you reach the right dose.
- her dose has been increased only once so far and im sure it will be increased again next week when we go for a blood test again.

anyway the real problem is that shes depressed about her weight and that despite all her efforts it wont make a difference. she also gets real depressed when people in her family call her fat, lazy and useless. i tell her its just temporary and she'll be fine soon and that we should just be patient. but she gets really pissed at me, saying that i dont do anything to help her. she does apologize later and says she was just really sad. i dont mind her yelling at me but i cant take seeing her so sad and depressed all the time. i do tell her that i dont care what she looks like she's still the hottest girl to me, and she is! but she doesn't get happy.
id be happy to answer any more questions and i really hope you guys can help me out.

sorry for such a long post.

[IncognitoSir]

YOU cant make HER feel better about her weight. Just help her to practice healthy eating habits and a regular workout routine. As for her family, she should just stay away from them, thats verbal abuse and does nothing to help the situation. Yeah I know that her family and all that jazz, but come on, she doesnt need to take that crap.......from ANYONE.

[Gigabitch]

She's probably more depressed about her hateful family as her weight. Her weight is being addressed as an issue by a doctor, but her toxic family is not.

My suggestion is to encourage her to spend less time around them. They suck.

[Raze]

^^ I agree. She shouldn't have to take that crap from anyone. She probably feels bad because she has been getting a lot of crap from them. Spend more time together so she doesn't have to be around her family so much.

[adam95]

yeah she does get more depressed cuz of the comments of other people. we live together in London as we go to uni there and we come bk here in Saudi for 2months to visit our families. We both dont enjoy this much cuz we dont meet much and dont get to go out here cuz its illegal to date in this country.
I do make her come over here often so she can get away, but then her family's like you're just here for 2 months and you're still stuck to your boyfriend.
its just a month more b4 we get away from here. then we're planning on working there so hopefully we dont have to come back here again.
thanks for the advice guys

[adam95]

guys, its getting worse
i'm 2kng to her right now and she told me she just threw up on purpose. in dont want this to lead to bulimia. im tellin her that that isnt the right thing to do and that it wont help her and it wil just make it worse.
anything else i can say to help her out?

[girl68]

Tell you right now you will NOT stand for throwing up. Find some website that support people with that condition. Find a counsellor that is cheap that can talk to her about her body image. Tell her that her wieght doesn't determine who she is but eating disorders and depression will.

After that there isn't much you CAN do. She needs to want to feel better for herself. Her dr might be able to help her find someone to talk to or suggest a place to go for support with this disease.

[ecojeanne]

cutting out family doesn't always help the situation

[adam95]

yeah i know we cant cut family but we can reduce meeting them. i think i will have to find a doctor. i dont know where to find one here! i hate this country!

[ecojeanne]

tbh you need to ignore her. you're feeding the problem by reacting worried to her about the throwing up. she has a weight problem and so do millions of women accross the globe who read those silly magazines etc. tell her you like her the way she is and that you are not going to engage in this analyzation of her weight with her. if she has a problem with her weight tell her you will gladly help by eating better food with her and excercising together. but otherwise she should stfu

[adam95]

wow thats a bit harsh (no offense ecojeanne)
im sorry if its hard for me to ignore her. i just love her so much. thanks for your advice though. i'll try it all out.

[adam95]

tnx a lot for ur advice guys. she seemed a little more happier after i explained to her that i'l be there to help with anything and will take her to a doctor. she told me shes lucky that i still stick with her even thru all her craziness. made me smile
tnx again guys. im glad i came across this forum.

[girl68]

Goodluck with everything. And stick to your guns- she needs help but you will help her seek it out, but she needs to remain open, honest, ready and willing.