Stuck in naive first love...time to end?

[bibichi]

I'm in college right now and I met my first love last year. We are/were? each other's firsts. We hit off and things progressed really fast. We basically spent everyday together since we lived close to each other. However, his very traditional parents were very against us going out because I did not follow his religion and I was a different ethnic race. So he decided to end the relationship around March because he was sandwiched between me and his parents who were harassing him to end it.

I was heartbroken and forgave him. A week later, we had a discussion and he wanted to get back together again, so we continued seeing each other till school ended in secret - his parents won't allow him to see me at all and I went away for vacation. We kept in contact through internet.

One day he tells me that he started having feelings for another girl and his religion changed his perspective that he didn't want to continue to lie anymore about our relationship, but the dumbest thing is that he doesn't know what to do to end it with me or keep on going till we both graduate. At first I was angry and requested to break-up, but after calming down I forgave his doings because of his weak character and the distance apart. I also realize how much feelings I have for him because I get constantly reminded of him everywhere I go.

Right now I'm really confused whether I should let him go or still continue? If I choose to end our relationship, what should I do? -We still have 2 more years in school. -Our social circles are closely intertwined. -I have courses with him next year...

[girl68]

Let him go. The complications of dating a dude who has parents who dissaprove are far greater than you think. It is unceccessary drama. Find a guy whose parents are not racist.

[lovefool87]

First love is hard! You are constantly forgiving because of what is in your heart. Trust me! I had something similar in college and although it took me a while to get over him, I am glad to be out of that situation! I can't say my current relationship is that great, but I'm only 23 and I'm confident that I will end up happy.

I still randomly talk to my ex, but its platonic, as i do still care if he were to be hit by a bus, I just no longer feel like I should be behind the wheel of said bus

[bibichi]

girl 68: Ya... I'm still shaking my head at how some people can still be so racist and ethnocentric...
Ironic thing is that I was in looovee with their ethnic culture before dating this guy. After I found out from him and a few friends from that culture that interracial relationships were disliked by the majority, it was a major turn off... It just feels like I woke up from my blind infatuation from before...

lovefool87: thanks for putting a smile on my face! Can you share some advice on how to keep a somewhat platonic relationship with ex? I know that I'm super soft-hearted and I'm scared that I'll do unnecessary things in the future...

[lovefool87]

Well, we dated for 2 and a half years and it literally took another 2 and a half before we could talk again. (after we broke up, he immediately started dating someone else for 2 years) It was painful, but I did eventually get through it and now we talk randomly, but its good because i was able to get over him without the thought of him being brought on BY him.

[bibichi]

I think my situation might become similar to yours... hes already got a next target, which I heard that they are getting on pretty well...

But I dont think its possible for me to not talk to him/hang out with him in the next 2 years since I got class with him, and we share some of the same friends...

[girl68]

Can't you just be civil when you encounter him but for the most part stay away. Be polite but you don't have to engage in a full on friendship.

[bibichi]

I'll give it a try...but I dunno what will happen till school starts...

Will post later for updates/extra help... cuz it'll be tough in the next year...

[IncognitoSir]

Yeah, 1st love is the greatest thing ever and the worst thing ever........in that order. You can make it though, we all go through it. You're in college though, they'll be more boys to come along.....who don't have racey parents.