'best-friend/lover' doesnt want me anymore.

[puzzle983]

so ive known this girl for 2 years, ive always thought she was cute, around 6 months into our friendship we started becoming really close, went out on casual dates (although it wasnt officially a date). Eventually i found out that shes been dating a guy in a different country for over 2 years and that she basically ISNT single. So i said w/e and still went along with it, i mean she never really seemed to deny going out to dinner, watching movies. etc.

After a while during one night we ended up making out and confessed out feelings for eachother. For another 5-6 months after that we were going steady though she wasnt my gf i treated her like it and she acted like it. Romantic and what not. And yes she even slept with me. So during the summer her ‘boyfriend’ came to visit for a week and she would find every excuse to spend time with me instead. (which was great)

One night she told me that she feels alot more for me than she does for him, which was great and expected as in we were happy for a while. the guy eventually left to go home but they were still together. She left for a month to go be a camp councelor and the kids pretty much drove her insane so she didn’t have much time to talk to me. Although i did try and call/text.

she finally came home, few days before i was going on a cruise with my boys and we went out. I asked her what she was feeling and she basically told me that its my fault she didnt feel anything for him when he was here and that she doesnt want to ‘cheat’ on her boyfriend anymore. And that hes her love blah blah. I just felt like she stabbed me in the chest and i got angry. i asked her if shes ever going to give me a chance to be her boyfriend. She tells me she just wants to be ‘friends’, but even thats all screwed up now because she barely responds to my texts, doesnt answer my calls and now im on the cruise so i cant even see her till next week.

Im seriously just thinking if girls are evil or something. Her mom even knows whats going on and she told her im better for her.

Im just wondering if she remembers who i am and what ive done for her. I mean while that guy sat his *** down in some foreign country i was the one that was here for her the whole time. Picked her up from work in the snow, stood with flowers outside her door in the rain, took her to romantic places. etc. etc.

Im pissed out of my mind and im usually not one to talk about stuff like this to anyone but i feel like i have to. Has anyone been seriously screwed like this before? wtf should i do?

[nerdy_guy]

1. You knowingly wanted to be a third wheel. That is wrong.

2.

I mean while that guy sat his *** down in some foreign country i was the one that was here for her the whole time. Picked her up from work in the snow, stood with flowers outside her door in the rain, took her to romantic places. etc. etc.

You have no right to criticize this person because you don't know who he is. So saying sitting his *** down in another country is just plain irrelevant hatred and bitterness. And picking her up from work in the snow, stood with flowers outside her door in the rain, took her to romantic places. etc... doesn't match the risk of the airplane he's on, might fail and he'll die just to see his girlfriend from far away.

3. Your friendship is screwed up because the nice attitude you showed her in #1 and #2 shows that you can't keep your hand off her if she comes close enough.

4. You're having a problem getting stabbed in the chest by a girl who also stabbed her boyfriend's chest?

5. Maybe she finally realized that a boyfriend who sat his *** down in another country that has no infidelity issues was probably better that a person who like muscling in on other relationships.

[kitkitkitty]

she sounds like trouble. it seems that she was happy with all of this til her bf came over and she wasn't able to control the distance between you and him and therefore messing both of you around. it's easy to say but i'd stop txting and all and see how long it takes her to come 'running back'. it's hard to sort things out when you're involved in the situation but just relax, enjoy your holiday. don't let her ruin it. you know she'll be there when you come back regardless of the situation.

[puzzle983]

thanks for the replys. yeah, i am angry and it does show when i talk about him, but in a sense its true in my mind. I mean the only trouble he ever has to go through is calling her, while ive been there for everything else.

I know its my own fault for getting involved in this but i liked her before i knew she had a bf and its just strange because hes pretty much never around and its like he doesnt exist.

Im going to probably just not talk to her until i get back, the last few texts i got from her were extremely blunt and ignorant so yeah.