how to proceed?

[manhood]

how to win her back if she becomes single again?

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My story in short.. My ex gf broke up with me in january and shortly after, she started dating this other guy with whom she still is having something. I heard some rumours not everything is wonderfull between them, although she told me 2 months ago that she likes him.

I've been trying to move on ever since, but I still think every day about her. We've been in LC in the beginning, and NC ever since. Yesterday I thought what the heck let's show my face on msn again.. and sure enough she started a conversation with me.. asking me if everything is allright, how my holiday was, and she told me that she was going to visit an amusement park near me. I told her to go on a certain day cause there will be someone special in the park. She remembered it from our visit to the amusement park once and she said just like last year (good thing she remembers it). Every time I went online in the past during our LC she was the one initiating a conversation and asking me about if I'm having a new gf. And the funny thing is, during the last 6 months (since our break up) she never has conversations longer than 30 minutes with other people, she becomes inactive ( after 10 mins) most of the time when she's online. And we had a conversation close to a hour.

She told little about her vacation when I asked about it, but she said me and my bf were to lame all the others were all day on the beach, that aint fun.
So we'll do a activity holiday next year. During the conversation she didn't talk about her bf further.

I noticed she checked out my social network page 2 days prior and 2 days after her holiday, that was still in our NC period. So I guess she is interested in what I'm doing or just being curious about me.

Anyway I'm wondering if I should appear more online again (on msn) or shouldn't I? She had a bf prior to our relationship, and that wasn't going anywhere either, he abused her and we met each other on a chat site. So we are good at chatting with each other, perhaps that way I can impress her again, so that if she get available again she chooses me instead of one of her friends (she has got many male friends). Although chatting with her was a lot more easy back in the old days.. we hardly had anything to talk about yesterday due to the fact there is some strain between us.

As you may have noticed I like my ex gf very much (at least the girl I knew back in the old days), and I would want to give it an other shot with her if she brakes up with her current bf. Although she has too make that clear to me at that point in time. And hopefully she won't choose anyone else

What do you guys think? I've been dating other girls and have been trying to move on, but I don't like the other girls I met so far.

Any advice would be appreciated... Also can I use some pull/push on this situation? I don't understand the push / pull theory completly although I've read about it.

[manhood]

nobody with some type of advice? :S

[WaiKru]

It really depends...are you looking to wait out her relationship with this other guy, or are you willing to interject yourself a little bit and perhaps sway her decision?

[manhood]

Well, the truth is that I don't know how her relationship with the other guy is at the moment. I don't think she is as close with him as she was with me...but that's just my opinion based on my look at her social network page. So her current relationship may last or it will end within a few weeks. The holiday season/summerfun is over as well as those first few months where everything looks wonderfull with a new partner. So if I want to sway her decision these are the weeks to do so. I don't want to bring up conversations about how her lovelife is though, it still hurts when she talks about him. Guess I'm gonna show my face some more on msn, then again she never said anything she had remorse about breaking up with me.

[WaiKru]

I don't want to bring up conversations about how her lovelife is though.

Definitely do not do this. Not only does it hurt you to have to hear her talk about him, but it gives her a chance to talk about him to someone else (you), which just causes him to be on her mind. What you want to do if you're interested in swaying her decision a little is actually very subtle and easy for you. You said that when you finally got on MSN again she messaged you, and it sounds like you guys had a nice little chat. Perfect. Now, do not contact her again for 2-3 days (this includes getting on MSN). 2-3 days from now call her up (its important that you make a PHONE CALL) and just catch up again. Start up some conversation and judge for yourself where its going (you should be able to tell within 10-15 minutes). If you guys seem to be falling back into your usual report and getting along smoothly, tell her you have to go and you hate to cut her short, but you two should meet up for a quick lunch or coffee sometime next week to catch up a little more. It's very important that you make this meeting sound casual and friendly. Maybe even tell her you'll only have a half hour or so to meet (which is actually about how long you want to meeting to last). She'll probably agree if you do this correctly, in which case great job you now have a little date set up (don't call it a date to her though, it will put her off). If she says no, STAY CALM. Don't beg or ask her repeatedly. Play it cool and say something like "Okay that's cool maybe some other time." and end the conversation. There's a good chance she'll call you back later that day or the next day and change her mind anyway. If not then go no contact for a week, and try again.

[lovefool87]

Move on. Sometimes, its the best way to get someone back.

[manhood]

wow thanks Waikru, I'll think about that. I appreciate your posting