Long distance, is that a real reason?

**ibby** · 24-10-04, 10:33 AM

Not sure if this has been brought up before, (I'm sure it has) but I'm sure many of you have used and have been on the other end of this excuse. Long Distance relationships don't work. I have never used this before has an reason to break up with whom I'm with. But it has been used on me, very recently actually. Now, I'm wondering if anyone else has been in this situation and would like for all of you to tell me what your thoughts on the whole matter.. Thanks

**KirstyM** · 24-10-04, 10:36 AM

LDRs work if you are both committed, trust each other, communicate and work at the relationship. They might sometimes be a bit tougher than a normal relationship obviously because of the distance but that doesnt mean they dont work. Mine works.

**ibby** · 24-10-04, 10:57 AM

Originally Posted by KirstyM

LDRs work if you are both committed, trust each other, communicate and work at the relationship. They might sometimes be a bit tougher than a normal relationship obviously because of the distance but that doesnt mean they dont work. Mine works.

I'm glad to hear that, so there's still hope. We're still undecided, well she is. Anyway thanks..

**Tomek** · 24-10-04, 11:20 AM

Im in the same possition O_O, i live in one city and she lives in a different city, i just dont know wot to do :< i love her and she loves me, but its kinda hard :s we are not havin a relationship, bcuz it aint like the real thing :< cant touch her and talk face to face >_<...but i love her so much im willin to wait and later on move closer to her <3

**ibby** · 24-10-04, 11:57 AM

Originally Posted by Tomek

Im in the same possition O_O, i live in one city and she lives in a different city, i just dont know wot to do :< i love her and she loves me, but its kinda hard :s we are not havin a relationship, bcuz it aint like the real thing :< cant touch her and talk face to face >_<...but i love her so much im willin to wait and later on move closer to her <3

To her that isn't enough though, right? It makes it very hard and confusing. You care about her very much and you're willing to do anything to keep the relationship alive, but the other end seems to point out all the negatives why it wont work. What to do? Anyone?

**sephora85** · 24-10-04, 01:04 PM

If I were in a situation where I would not be living within driving distance of my boyfriend (he already lives like 45min away, but we both are willing to take turns driving to eachother's house and we go to the same school so things work out now), I think that I would just say that it's time we went our separate ways. I love my boyfriend very deeply, but I just think that the long distance would put too much stress on our relationship and end things for good. If you just decide to take a little break, but still keep in touch, I think that we would have a much better chance for survival long-term. Of course, every relationship is different, but that's how I would see it going with me and my boyfriend....

**Tomek** · 24-10-04, 01:14 PM

yea it sucks >_<, but ur right sephora ^.^....the only hard thing is actually doin it hahah...ohh the drama :/ so hard not to talk to her!!

y u gurls gotta be so hard to figure out!!??

**ibby** · 24-10-04, 02:58 PM

I see your point Sephora, but I'm having a hard time just realizing that we need to go our separate ways just because distance is what separates us. I truly love this person and time nor distance will ever change that. The stress that is causes will be worth it in the end, when I'm able to see her face to face and tell her it was all worth it. Tomek, you said it best, " Why you girls gotta be so hard to figure out?"

**squirrley** · 24-10-04, 07:14 PM

Im in a long distance relationship, and it depends how much you care about that person and if its worth giving it a shot. We live 6 hours apart and are making it work. I care deeply for him and will do what I have to to make it work. Distance sucks, but the person is WORTH everyday that I go through the missing. I'm giddy he's in my life and thankful to no end for what we share. I wouldnt give up hope. As long as you both want the same thing, you can make it work.

**Tomek** · 24-10-04, 08:30 PM

So true squirrley! nicely put aswell

**KirstyM** · 24-10-04, 09:14 PM

Well my partner and I live in different countries. But we both knew it would have to be a LDR when we started so we were prepared for this. We are both extremely committed so it does work. As squirrley says the other person is worth it all. Plus the times you DO get to spend together are so magical. Yesterday I spent the day with my partner for the first time in ages and it was all just so amazing just to be with him after all that time. It's days like yesterday which make everything else so completely worth it.

But you BOTH have to be very committed or it just will not work. You have to be determined to make this work and if one or both of you are having this many doubts, maybe you're just not ready for a relationship like this.

**Frebbiezadyke** · 25-10-04, 01:51 AM

hey
my ex and true love lives 4 to 5 hours away from me and it has ALWAYS been a problem.. we woudl have on fases where we woudl talk to each other for hours everyday and see each other all the time and then we woudlk ahve off feses where we woudl go 5 mounths with out seeing each other and only talking like every other day
during the summer it was always better becouse i would go and "live" with although i dont think it should be called that becouse its not like we have a house or anything
anyway the only way its going to work is if u keep each other and cheek dont go a long time with out talking and make sure both of is commited

**kronos51** · 31-10-04, 02:59 AM

Well, simply put, it is a bullshit excuse. The LDR itself is no reason for it not to work. It is most likely just a coverup for something deeper (like her not trusting you, or wanting to move on herself) or she just doesn't know the exact reason she is feeling bad about it. To beat a dead horse: as long as you are both committed there is no reason for distance to matter.

Originally Posted by KirstyM

Plus the times you DO get to spend together are so magical. Yesterday I spent the day with my partner for the first time in ages and it was all just so amazing just to be with him after all that time. It's days like yesterday which make everything else so completely worth it.

You hit it on the nose. Every day I got to spend with my girlfriend was the best day of my life (until she broke up for the exact LDR reason. . .). Sometimes both partners just arent commited to it, in which case you just really cant do anything except talk it out until you get to the real issue, or just accept it and try to move on.

**KirstyM** · 31-10-04, 05:40 AM

Yes exactly, kronos. My relationship works because we're both extremely committed. But if we weren't, it'd be hell.

**wendy_2008** · 30-07-09, 07:33 PM

of course LDR works. i had one that didnt work in the past, so first when i started this recent one, i had nothing but doubts. later on, i heard so many successful LDR stories (people you actually know, not friend's friend's cousin's neighbor's friends...) .

Distance can be tricky. i think of course trust, commitment and faith are the key elements. i also think if both of you can plan to visit each other in the near future (like every other couple months). . But you'll also need to have long term goals....like when to terminate the distance. ..etc. chances are pretty good.

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