confused

[qwertz]

I feel really confused. I've been with my bf for a while now, things had been fantastic and then we had a slight blip a few weeks ago, I was going to end the relationship but in the end, i didnt. Things have been back to being great again now, he's typically everything I look for in a guy- he's kind, caring, protective, selfess, loving..the list goes on, I cant actually think of much i dont like about him!
Basically a few things went on at the weekend that i wont go in to now, but I tried to finish him yesterday..i thought he would just take it but he didnt, he was really upset and he is very much a mans man so i didnt expect this.
He kept asking why..why had i always kept myself at arms length from him, why was i breaking up with him and said that he was expecting this a few weeks ago. I couldnt give him an answer.

A lot of tears flowed from both of us (again i didnt expect this from myself or him) he said he would give me some space to clear my head and begged me to take it and just think about things. I agreed.

Now i've been telling myself for a while that this is just a bit of fun and its going nowhere etc etc...so why do i feel so crap? I feel like i'm just being rather than living today, I have this intense want to call him/talk to him/see him. I cant concentrate on anything, i hardly slept last night and have hardly eaten anything today, it feels like this big raw gaping hole...not exactly how I would expect to feel about someone i saw as a 'bit of fun' .

I dont know what to do

[Gigabitch]

Qwerty, eventually you're going to have to let someone in. I think this guy is a good candidate. Give him a chance, won't you?

[vashti]

Sounds like he turned into more than a "bit of fun".

I think this is obviously related to your underlying issues with men because of your crappy ex.

Are you still seeing your therapist?

[asdfg789]

Make a list of why u like him and another of why u dont think it would last.

That should help clear your thoughts a bit.

U can even share it with a few people u trust here who can give u some 3rd party perspective ...

Good luck !

[kitkitkitty]

did you try to convince yourself that he was just a bit of fun, to stop yourself hurting as much when things end?

[qwertz]

Yeh, im still seeing a counsellor.

No, i didnt try and convince myself that, it was literally just fun on both parts- I was(am?) fully aware that i wasnt ready for any type of committment, or even able to care for someone to this degree...though it seems that may have changed?

[kitkitkitty]

i think you should give him a chance.

[qwertz]

I dont know, there are other things to be considered..he is moving back to his hometown soon, and im moving back to mine so we will actually be 3hrs driving time away from one another.

[lovefool87]

Life happens. Sometimes when you don't feel that you are ready for a relationship, the right person comes along to change your mind. Sometimes when you feel that you are definitely ready for a relationship, the wrong people break your heart. Just take it day by day. Explain the impending distance in your relationship (both of you moving back home) and your fears. He sounds like the kind of guy who would understand.

[kitkitkitty]

Life happens. Sometimes when you don't feel that you are ready for a relationship, the right person comes along to change your mind. Sometimes when you feel that you are definitely ready for a relationship, the wrong people break your heart

i like that a lot.

[Mish]

Honestly, I don't think you're the kind of person who is okay with a bit of fun qwerty, you get attached pretty quickly

[nerdy_guy]

I'll tell you this right now, he really loves you a lot if he's a "man's man" and he cried for you. If you let go, you have noooooo idea what you'll be missing. That man's man image of him is there so that the world can see that he'll go above and beyond the call of duty just for you. Its not there so that he'll be all "macho" in your eyes.

[Indignant]

"he's kind, caring, protective, selfess, loving.." - is he ugly?

[misombra]

Is he a pussy?

[Indignant]

if a guy has all the above mentioned qualities than there's something with him physically if she is willing to let him go.