Making Friends

[Henry123]

For females to reply.

I'm curious do women get the wrong message if you only want to be friends with them? Do you ladies feel like the guy is "after them" or something?
I'm beginning to realize that I want more women friends in my life. And I dont want to turn it into a relationship (usually it will end up badly if that happens. Me think anyways.) . I think women friends in my life would make me happier with life. Someone whose a real friend and not a pretend friend. Someone who would watch your back and you in turn watch her back.
Your constructive thoughts would be welcome!

[Indignant]

that all depends on how old you are

[Gigabitch]

I think it's a good idea, Henry, as long as you don't try to be friends with women you're attracted to. If I remember correctly, you've had some issues in the past with boundaries being crossed and things getting sexual when they shouldn't.

[hurt_confuzd]

I'd rather be makin' whoopee.

[Henry123]

Thanks Giga.
I think it will help build my circle of friends.
The bounbdaries that was cross was from my therapist and befor that it was from my math teacher (this was years ago with the math teacher).
I think having more women friends could give me insight into things that most guys simply dont get. Some guys are simply too blind and dumb to see the obvious and I notice that with couples. Like guys not shutting up and letting her talk or not really paying attention to what she has to really say. Not being considerate enough to listen to what she is saying and actually being curious in what she has to says. I also notice alot of women speaking in an indirect manner (impllying something) and the guy simply dont get it. At least its obviouc to me what she is saying and wants from him etc.

[cancankant]

If you try to make friends with a woman, make sure this is done fairly naturally. Otherwise, the woman WILL think you are hitting on her. If you can meet women in a group, like a networking group or social club, that is probably the best, but sometimes female coworkers and male coworkers can start friendships. Just make sure it remains casual, and you don't make out like you are asking her on a date when you just are interested in hanging out.

A lot of women like to have male friends, and it's nice that you want to have female friends, but be careful as to not confuse the other person. Opposite sex friendships can be tricky, and it's probably best that you hang out with a group for a while if possible.

[SAULE]

Well no, when you tell a woman you want to be friends with them, usually there is really nothing more than that. Unless, the woman in question loves to question everything, which could then lead to some form of paranoia...
When guys ask to be my friend, I simply assume that it's friendship. Nothing more, nothing less. If I think anymore than that, one, it's going to screw the so-called "friendship," and two, if I think that the guy is interested in me but he really isn't, I would just make a fool of myself and also make myself disappointed.
I have the tendency to make more guy friends than girlfriends just because guys are easier to deal with (in terms of straightforward communication, meaning guys give simpler explanations while girls give the whole complicated breakdown of some step-by-step process on what should be done), but I agree with Indignant that it depends on how old you are. If you're in high school or something, you could be labeled as a player. But if you're older than that, then it can be seen as a romantic interest, friendship, or a way to build up your connections.

(Note: Don't ask me why about the whole player thing. I just noticed it when I was in high school.)

[Henry123]

Thanks Saul. No I'm not in High School.
I just getting over my social anxiety. Its a step by step battle but I know what I want.

[xxazurexx]

I'd be dubious and until he proved that he was only interested in friends. A true friend doesn't hit on you. and I'd know if it was true friendship he was looking for, or more....

Most men who wanted to be my friend, did so because there was a motive behind it....they wanted more. These men quickly made a move on me and most would quickly disappear from my life and when I made it clear I didn't want more. Some continued to hang around and live in hopes and hope I'd change my mind....which I never did.

I've never had a man just want to be my friend and truly be a friend...asides guys I grew up with and have known from my youth/school years. But I dont see these guys anymore and because I moved miles away from people I grew up with and years ago.

The only male friend I have is a guy I've known for 3 years and he's in cyber land.....but still he lives in hopes that one day I'm gonna meet him and because he will often bring it up.