hate being single?

[originalsince85]

does anyone else really not enjoy being single?

you can do whatever you want, when you want, thats great....but its really just not as fun when you havent got someone special to share it with. thats how i feel anyway. i dislike being single so much that life feels so pointless on my own. its annoying when you know you have some good qualities and people just dont give you the chance to show them, or you just cant seem to find anyone you like in that way?

anyone else really dislike being single? and how do they deal with it?

or anyone enjoy being single and can give some helpful hints on how to see it in a positive light?

[vashti]

Feeling like this may cause you to send of signals of desperation, which is very alienating to other people, thus perpetuating your single status. There ARE worse things than being single, and you are very young (I assume you were born in 1985?). Take a deep breath and relax. Everything comes in its own time. You might as well try to enjoy the life you have.

[originalsince85]

thanks vashti, correct on the age assumption.

i really want to enjoy the life i have, i just really really miss my ex, i try to not think about it too much but it still sucks.

i want to know how i can see being single in a different light and enjoy it, cause i dont want to send signals of desperation thats for sure. and i have to get used to being with no one. maybe it will just come with time? im only broke up about 3-4weeks. just being single feels really alien to me!

[hurt_confuzd]

There ARE worse things than being single

Like being married.

[vashti]

Like being married.

Like being unhappily married.

originalsince1985 - I think you just need more time to adjust to being alone. Maybe you should take up some new hobbies? Or take some classes for fun? Keep yourself busy. It helps.

[Progressus]

Like being unhappily married.

originalsince1985 - I think you just need more time to adjust to being alone. Maybe you should take up some new hobbies? Or take some classes for fun? Keep yourself busy. It helps.

I second that: You need to get used to being single. Why not do things totally different now that you're alone? Try out something crazy, do whatever the hell you like. You know why? Because there's nobody there anymore that can tell you otherwise. Isn't that at least something that's positive about your situation?

Don't be too hard on yourself: You certainly do have qualities, everybody does. Eventually there'll be someone who loves and cherishs you for what you are. Trust me.

[Raze]

I think it's the worst when you just get out of a relationship because you're thinking "man, it feels so weird not to have someone." After a while, I think you kind of get used to it and then it becomes more bearable as time goes on.

What I'm trying to do is become comfortable being with myself (single). It gets difficult sometimes.

[originalsince85]

thanks for the replies!

well i do crazy stuff anyway, crazy stuff seems to just happen in my life regardless - haha! but i like the mentality. i really want a tattoo, i know its not that crazy but its something ive always wanted!

and raze thats what i need to do, become more comfortable with myself!

i dont even like going to the supermarket alone or for groceries, i know its sad, but its true!

i do need some hobbies and after the breakup took up pool twice a week with a friend, and ive been out drinking at weekends, but i need other things. but i need cheap hobbies, im really skint right now and being single is a good time for me to get my life and finances back on track. so if anyone has any cheap hobby ideas??????

i used to be into skateboarding and photography. but i sold my dslr and feel to old to skateboard!! i love playing guitar and singing but im crap. and it would be good to have a more social hobby

thanks again peeps xx

[Boisdevie]

Get out dating. When my 8 year relationship broke up in Feb I was out there straight away and found a very nice GF after 3 months. Sadly that's gone to hell but I'm out there again. In the uk plentyoffish seems a pretty good website. Just get out there - you might not find the love of your life but it can be fun.

[originalsince85]

way to go! i have been out on 1 date since the break up 3-4 weeks ago. im open for seeing other people, and mixing it up.

im in two mind sets - one i really want to see girls, another is i need to concentrate on me and being single and develop my own person and get where i need to be without someone else, then when im all settled and feel comfortable with me, then try and find someone.

but what the hell, im gonna check out that website, thanks for the suggestion!!

[WICKED THOUGHTS]

Eh, ull get used to it. Enjoy, it cuz perty soon ull find someone and then ull have the dilemma.. fook, i wanna be single again. lmao

[Adamd9]

Its good to be singel for a while, especially after a breakup, dont feel bad that your singel, your not alone..

[sookie6]

I've been single for FOUR YEARS...and no I did not fall from the ugly tree, things just turned out this way. Today I look back on:

- 2 years of utter sorrow/ I was gone to the world..please don't be like me snap out of your ex as soon as you can

- 2 years of meeting imcompatible people...2009 was the year I made a point at trying, getting out there, being receptive, open minded...but it did not work out...this year I've met one person who could have been IT but wasn't..;at least I can feel progress...

I've gotten used to being single, actually I'd rather be single that in a bad company, with someone I'd be bored with etc...but I long for someone special....

What can you do in the meantime:

- Focus on the people that are in your life and bring somthing to it. There are other types of love (family and friends) and maybe you'll never get the chance to spend time with them again

- Focus on your future. Throw yourself in a project: career, arts, redecorating your house, joining an association...

My friends experience has always been that you meet someone when you least expect it...so good luck!

[rain.man]

I have to admit, I love being single. That said, I grew up alone (single mom working long hours, no kids in my neighborhood and not near any of my schoolmates), it is what I know and is when I am most comfortable.

As far as things to do, I have the time to develop hobbies and interests that I otherwise couldn't, have the financial ability to travel that I wouldn't if I were married with kids (I love road trips) and can do anything spur of the moment without asking permission. I've got plenty of stories to torture my married buddies with, make them remember what they're missing

I do my own thing. If someone wants to come along for the ride they are welcome to, and they can walk at any time.

You can see girls and still be single. Honestly, if you can truly embrace being single, you'll find yourself getting *so* much more attention (speaking from my own experiences here).

For cheap hobbies, pick up a few "intellectual" hobbies. They are mostly learning and don't cost much, but can be very rewarding. Learn a language, study art, etc. Or pick up a hobby that can *make* you money. I'm in the middle of renovating my house, and I've had a few "friends of friends" approach me about doing work on their houses after seeing pictures of what I did to mine. Besides, women love handymen (I've had a few experiences where doing something as simple as fixing a stuck garbage disposal or tuning up a lawnmower engine for one of my female neighbors led to more than I'd anticipated).

[lahnnabell]

Being single doesn't mean you have to be lonely.

I find that when I'm feeling lonely for my boyfriend that I need to reach out to my friends again. Those relationships are just as important as my romantic one. Spending time being physically active really helps to keep your mind focused on more positive things than just how lonely you are. Being sedentary breeds this kind of discomfort.

The same applies to singledom. Going out and having a good time should be paramount to everything else. Don't think that if you go out for the night that you're supposed to come home with a quota of phone numbers. Just go out and see what happens. Meet people and see who you click with.