Adive, theories, Ideas Please?

[Kittybahamut]

Hey,
well i read a few threads on this site before signing up, and the ones i have read sounded sincere, people putting their issues on the line and people replying with honosty and not just laughing or joking about the situations as unfourtantly most of my so called friends seem to think is the correct response.

So, a little past information on me, im 26 year old Male, ive been in two long term commited relationships (Engaged once) since i was about 16 and have been single for coming on three years now.

Soo the situation currently, theirs a girl (wow shock horror there) i met her end of last year, and after a month of chatting to her (she lives very near me) i came to like her, a few more months of going out with her and her friends on just random trips, lifts to and from work it became obvious i really liked her and she also found this out. At this point her closest friend told me to be careful because she wasnt interested in me like that, that she did really like me and thought i was amazing and was so thankful of meeting me (the usual nice guy speel) and if she thought i liked her enough that it would get awkward she would distance herself to avoid us both pain.

Well it reached a point where she did this, but after a couple of weeks we started talking again, and are good friends.
since this each of her friends have also given me the same, we know you like her, we think your wonderful and amazing for her, your so good to her and were so happy that your in her life, but dont get your hopes up, im sorry and if i could choose anyone for her it would be you..speel

its now 8 Months down the line, we do loads together, go dancing, cinema, film nights, pub, etc etc. have a good laugh, when its only us two she's completely different, when others are around, its like im barely there, not so much ignoring me, as avoiding.
i am completely mad for this girl, and i know most of all your advice is, give up and move on, im not that kinda guy, if i could jsut give up and move on, then these feelings wouldnt be real.

Im fine with the fact that she doesnt feel the same for me, she cant help her feelings just as i cant help mine.

this is probably half the story, as i really kinda just fail when it comes to thinking straight :S but its a good sum up.

i really dont think theirs much anyone could give in the way of advice, i would be interested in what others would do in such situations from both the male and female points of view.

but i think just getting it all out is also a very theraputic thing.

thank you all.

[lovebred]

Dude I'm in the same situation (I'm a guy btw I registered as a female by mistake).

Basically she' sortof embaressed,

because the girl probably gets shit from her friends for "dating a college guy".

And they probably tell her "Dude he must be desperate".

But if you're happy that's good!! I'm happy for you. Don't just move on. Keep trying it out.


I also have to let you know since this is your "first love" it will feel like you love her a lot but in reality
there will be a lot of girls that make you feel that way too.

if you want to chat more, send me a PM with your email address.

[lovefool87]

Well, I think you shouldn't continue to be so "available" to her. Next time she wants to go do something, tell her NICELY "Hey, yeah I would but I have plans, raincheck?"

Distancing yourself from her a little bit can help you to put your feelings into perspective. If she wants to be "just friends" then you need to treat her like a friend. Tell her when you think another girl is pretty, or even attempt to date available girls in your area!

If the girl has feelings for you, they will get stronger the less time she is able to have with you. (i.e. you being too busy to cater to her every need)

I'm not one to play games, I think this girl likes bad boys and that is something she has to work out by herself. You, on the other hand, should remain friends, but keep your options open so you don't feel like you are putting everything into this girl, and therefore making you feel more vulnerable around her.

I personally don't see a point in wasting my time with someone who doesnt want me back. I want to be wanted by the person i want. Get it? It's a mutual "like" thing and its a great way to start out a potential relationship!

[RdHrshyKss]

distancing yourself from her will be a good thing for you. i agree with pretty much everything lovefool said. try it out and let us know what happens.