break up :(

[breakup]

I'm in stupid situation.
In my relatives house i met the guy whom i saw when i was 13, i had a crash on him back then. And i met him again after 13 years, he become big, nice trained body, good looking man.From the first day he met me he start to chase me like a crazy. Didn't let me breath. Would find any chance just to see me and hangout with me. We r very different, our families, our religion. I don't care about all this, but he always says just because we r so much different he wants me even more. He chased me for 3 months, and we start to date. But undercover, cause i knew nobody in my family will accept him, he is a bad boy, in all meanings, doesn't have any education, does illegal things, went to jail for a few days few times and etc., but i fell in love. i love to be around him cause he is so much different than people im used to, he jokes, he gives me a lot of attention, the he hugs, kisses me, i never had such a crazy love before. I feel so much comfortable and happy around him.
We were like crazy for 2 months, texted whole day and night long, see each other everyday, all free time we used to spend together... It was really great time, we were very happy...
All his friends and even his sister warned me that he is a big player, but they never saw him to be like that, to care about somebody this way. I told my parents about him. My parents r more like my friends and they tried to explain me how different we r and all this stuff, they made me think about future... I told him he said something disrespectful and we got into fight and i said i want to break up.
But i couldn't keep up with my decision, i yearned to see him again, so i called 9 days later, we met both we cold at the beginning then start to kiss like a crazy. OMG we missed each other so much! At the same day i found out a lot about him. He said when he met me he used to have a girlfriend, but they have strange relationships, also kinda undercover, she doesn't live with him but often comes over and stay overnight. So one month ago he broke up cause he decided that he loves only me and wants to be with me. And as i broke up with him they got back together 4 days ago... U cant imagine my reaction i couldn't stop crying, it felt like whole worldcrushes down on me. It hurt me so much... I know i should stop then and never talk to him again, but i was so weak. I had to take a very serious exam but simply couldn't think about anything but him. He said he loves me and will solve situation and gonna be next to me and support me no matter what... Ever since for already 5 month we r in this situation. He always says "i broke up for u and look what u did to me, u forced me to get back with her cause i was vulnerable when u left me". He says she is like a made in my house she takes care of me. Sometimes he says theye have been together for 3 years, he is in love with me but he also got love for her. All this 5 month we r up and down, we fight we hardly talk then love one another like crazy again. He still gives me a lot of affection and attention but at nights hardly text back and i sometimes clearly feel he is with her even it happens rarely, like once a week they hangout outside together. Situation is really weird. Recently she found out about me and start to call me, i didn't know what to say so i didn't pick up, she start to text and telling that he lies to me and all this stuff. He got mad at her and start to fight and tried to break up, now when she knows about me she doesn't want to leave, says she is not gonna let me win, she cries, beg him to stay with her, he feels sorry for her........ Weird weird very weird situation. Im not asking what to do, i know i have to leave him. But i cant, im such a weak freak, just one day without him or not talking to him and im getting crazy, i cant do anything cant think of anything, im crying, getting depressed and as soon as he calls im happiest person on the earth. Im writing here cause nobody knows about all this, there is nobody i can share my situation with....

[zonay]

So let me sum up this guy for you:
1. He is abusive, very disrepectful towards women, has a so called girl friend which he refers to as "maid".
2. He is not responsible for his acts, and by saying that you are responsible for his hook up with the other girl he wants you to clear his mess.
3. He has an established bad reputation and everyone has tried to explain that to you.
4. He didn't contact you after your first break up and you had to make the move to get him back. That clearly shows that he has no problem in getting girl friends.
In my opinion, you are just a young girl who had the love feelings for the first time. You can't see the difference in black and white right now because you are blinded by this infatuation. Honey, there is a difference between love, crush and addiction. Try to forget him, he has a true criminal history and can turn to be very harmful for you too. You are too young for relationship issues, depression, tears etc. Try to bring healthy changes in your life style and one day when youl wake up in the morning, he'ill not be the first thing that comes to your mind.

[breakup]

thanx a lot, actually i said bye to him yesterday, and for the first time after argument im not depressed and crying, i hope ill be able to stay like that. I more than sure i have to do it, we had bad beginning.

[zonay]

That's very wise of you :-)
And don't just go through all the post break up pain alone, share it with friends so that you can fight that urge of contacting him again.