Interested in a Colleague...should I stay away?

[grandmaster]

The title pretty much gives it away, but I am a teacher and there is a teacher at my school I find my self very attracted to. We are both new teachers, and when I first saw her I didnt think anything about it, I've always been weary of the idea of the thought of thinking about dating a colleague (I have dated coworkers at part time jobs, but this is different). But as we've talked, hung out (with other teachers) and I have gotten to see her personality more, I find myself more and more attracted to her

What is your advice on a situation like this? If we didnt teach at the same school or perhaps another career where we arent in charge of other people, this wouldnt be an issue. I feel like I have gotten positive signs for her, I have caught her looking at me more than a few times when a group of us are talking and Im not the one talking, she has given me a nick name, and she seemed sad (gave me that friendly pouty face girls do sometimes) when I had to leave a social get together of new teachers early...and there have been others signs as well...So I have all these ideas going through my mind at the moment, part of me is trying not to think about it, another part of me is looking for signs, another part says I should peruse it down the road and I just want some advice.

Im very good at dealing with someone who Im interested in and they dont share the interest, and when I student taught last year, I went through a rough break up and was actually able to keep it out of the classroom because I enjoyed the teaching so much I forgot about it...but Im just worried of making things awkward or what ever because we are ultimately affecting students lives...and I am well aware that boundaries would have to be laid down to where we show no signs of a relationship at school to keep kids from using that as some kind of ammo or fire starter to spread rumors or what ever.

Thanks!

[vashti]

It depends.... If you are teaching at an elementary school, I think it would be harder to keep this discreet than if you were teaching at a university. However, since you are new teachers, I don't know.... this has a lot of potential to harm your career if things go bad. Even if you trust your own ability to be able to handle a bad situation, you can't really know how she'd react.

[fi123]

When i was at school, two of my teachers were dating, then they got married. It was no big deal. Everyone knew they were dating, everyone knew when they got married, nobody seemed to blink an eyelid, teachers or pupils. Of course they never snogged each other in the hallway or anything like that, didn't seem to have any more interaction around the school than any other teachers, kept it all very business like within the school walls (we didn't see inside the staffroom of course). If you wanted to date a student that would be a problem!! but i don't see the harm in this unless the school you work at forbids it.

And why do you say ultimately you would be affecting students' lives? In what way exactly, apart from the odd muffled snigger from a student if they saw you talking together?

[grandmaster]

We teach highschool and about affecting student lives what worries me is if we break up, if it doesn't work and then work becomes extra awkward since we work together and thus that could have a bad effect on our teaching

[fi123]

Well if you think you are the type of person who can't hide your emotions and can't stop it hindering your performance at work after a break up then no maybe you shouldnt pursue things. But what the hell, there's other jobs, other schools if that happens in the future. What if this is the girl for you and it didn't go wrong? And if you were to date someone who wasn't a teacher you could still break down if that relationship failed, the effect on the students would be the same, surely. I can't see that the fact that you work together would make too much of a difference, you're not in the same clas room at the same time, the effect on your feelings and the way you are able to handle doing your job after a break up would be the same whether she works in the same building or in timbuctoo.

[lovefool87]

When I was in high school a few of the teachers dated each other and it was seriously no big deal. I guess you forgot that High Schoolers are more interested in what is going on with themselves than anyone else around. (Good luck keeping them awake before 9 am) I'd say pursue a friendship first, and if there is potential there, then date. You shouldn't miss out on a chance at love, but you should also not rush into anything too quick.