Hello,
I just signed up here to find some people to be able to talk to about my relationship problems. I don't have any family and friends I think aren't able to be objective about my issues with men. So here I am.
My name is Riley, I'm 34, female, divorced, have kids and long distance "something". Not sure you can call it dating. It's a long story, which of course, I'll get into.
My real question as of now, is how much do past relationships effect our relationships now. I'm feeling a bit confused and hurt with my guy (for lack of a better term). He is divorced as well and obviously our exes are a part of both of our lives, as we share kids with them. I have no problem with him talking about his ex wife. At all. I've spoken to her. I'm not threatened by her or jealous. He has had one girlfriend since his divorce, and then me. He had originally told me a little about his last relationship. They were together about eight months, she broke up with him saying he couldn't give her what she needed emotionally.He never mentions her or anything. Never told me her name.(Yes I snooped and know it all) Seemed like it wasn't a big deal. So now we have been seeing each other for a year. Long distance but we fly out and make visits. We have never said those three words to each other, but we are very close. Our kids are close. Neither of us see other people.First person in the morning and last person at night to talk to.For both of us.
Somehow it came out in a conversation that he had told the last girlfriend he loved her, and I was floored. I really thought that we were closer than he and his ex had been. When he realized that I was a bit put off, he started saying things like since the last two times he ever told a woman he loved her she ended up hating him, it makes him gun shy. But now I'm really thinking that maybe I thought more of what we have than he does and maybe I should walk away.I was fine with not having said it to each other, until I realized that he had said it to her.
Any advise or thoughts?
Riley