I am falling for my neighbour

[dargon99]

Hi everyone.... Actually I am a 24yr old male and I am not the type that likes to always spend his life in books.... Recently I have met this really nice girl in my building(she just lives 2 floors below mine) and I couldn't help but introduce myself to her. For the first two weeks I ended up acting like a very friendly neighbour to her. By that I mean I helped her with her homely affairs such as cleaning, cooking etc. And using this as an excuse I was able to meet her quite often. But the problem is whenever I meet her I am not able to talk much more than current affairs and when I get too personal I feel she minds it a lot. So I dont ask her too many personal questions like if she has a boyfriend? Why she isnt working and studying? etc..... The girl seems to be very intellectual and very studious and work oriented. She spends most of her day in preparation for her exams. She is also 24 yrs old. I dont know how to approach her as she is very smart and I am not as mature as her. I sometimes get the feeling that I meet be disturbing her to a certain extent but everytime I ask her if I am disturbing she says no and one day she got really irritated and said why I keep asking that. I am kind of embarassed and also since I am a little shy I am having trouble to talk to her. Now her parents have come over and started living in her apartment so it has been difficult for me to communicate with her. But I would really appreciate it if someone could give me some advice on how to approach this women. She is extremely smart and talented while I am kind of casual and easy-going. We seem very different in personalities but she is definitely someone I have come to admire....... Only certain negative traits that accompany most smart ppl bother me in her like the arrogance, sarcasm and hate for all ppl below their intellectual level.

[SapphireBerry]

Guys take a while to mature we all know that, but even if you feel you’re not ‘mature’ enough for her then try to be, it’s not hard, just don’t keep breaking her heart if you do get closer to her. Anyway that’s a matter to be dealing with if things get started between you two.

I ask her if I am disturbing she says no and one day she got really irritated and said why I keep asking that.

Okay 1: STOP asking her if you're annoying her, because you sound paranoid and a bit obsessive and asking her ALL the time WILL annoy her so stop that.

. I am kind of embarassed and also since I am a little shy I am having trouble to talk to her.

2: why are you even contemplating getting to ‘know’ her if you’re too shy? We usually like confident guys (and when I say that I don’t mean vain guys). You need to build up the courage and take it like a man if she rejects you or doesn’t respond to your signals and feelings. There are plenty of interested girls so don’t attach to one.

The girl seems to be very intellectual and very studious and work oriented.

3 & 4: Don’t assume as to what kind of a person she is, you need to get to know her if you’re interested. Don’t visit her ALL the time but when help is needed then help her and be patient talking about current events only seems appropriate at this time you should try asking her on a date and sitting down with a glass of wine at hers/your house before you start getting ‘personal’ with her.

So I dont ask her too many personal questions like if she has a boyfriend? Why she isnt working and studying? etc.....

5: Asking her if she has a boyfriend is her business and you’re wise for not asking her about her love life. If she has a boyfriend you have to accept this, some girls are just off limits for various reasons but don’t start getting so attached. She may be the ‘cute little neighbor across the way’ but that may be all she’s ever gonna be.

Only certain negative traits that accompany most smart ppl bother me in her like the arrogance, sarcasm and hate for all ppl below their intellectual level.

And 6: We all have our flaws and she’s a woman so I wouldn’t blame her. But I’d stop looking at her negative side before you’ve even made a move on her! I’m quite similar to this personality category and in a way I blame my firey Leo star sign xD but honestly that is who she is as a person and if you can’t already accept her flaws then do you seriously see it working in the future?

It’s clear you like her and it’s your choice on how you go about it, I would recommend saying to her ‘so are you doing anything this week?’ if she says no then invite her out like ‘I’m gonna catch a movie on Sunday if you’re interested and then maybe we can get a coffee or something'. To her right now you’re the friendly helpful neighbor that comes over for ‘helping’ related issues not ‘dating’ related, either take it a step up or forget her if you’re too shy. Your choice

Good Luck,

Sapphire x

P.S Don’t let the parents get to you, but please, give her space because you don’t wanna meet her parents before you’ve even made a move on her and seem like a bit of a weird obsessive neighbor

[VincenzoG91]

A lot of relationships don't work out, which is why it's a bad idea (and a lazy idea) to date a neighbor or co-worker. That kind of proximity will make things difficult if things don't work out. It doesn't sound like you two have much in common, aside from maybe a physical attraction, so the odds don't look good.

The part about her parents is strange. She is a 24 year-old student, but her parents had to move in with her? Why? Did they go broke financing her education? How is she supporting them if she is a full-time student? Are you sure that they aren't just visiting?

[dargon99]

they are just there for visiting!!!!! And sapphire how is a shy guy supposed to change if he never tries to change? u just said why I am even trying if I cant be confident then can u tell me what else am I supposed to do? should I Just be shy for the rest of my life and probably be alone as well..... Anyways I really thought about and it seems I dont have much in common with her... So I would rather give up and not try anyways..... This area is not my strength..... Actually dating or building a relation requires more than just commitment..... U really need to be able to sell yourself like an advertisement to the opposite gender and that is something I am horrible at..... It seems only ppl with the character of a soap opera actor get women these days.... And it seems women just care about pretentious ppl.......

[shammi]

try going in her washroom and see if the washroom stinks, thats the best advice i can give

[Sonrisa]

lighten up and get a sense of humor

[SapphireBerry]

Agreed Sonrisa. I Just think you need to not be so shy to talk to her and ask her out this is what I'm trying to say!
She's gonna like to see a bright guy not a hidden away one. Trust me guys who bottle up feelings I don't really
favour and you really don't sound so confident about yourself. Trust me if you give up then why did u even consider
talking it out on here..