i dunno where this belongs

[kanzaki]

Prodigal >> nah, im ok. Dun worry

i dunno, he is starting to confuse me. Yeah, he kept asking me to change, but i have to take re sponsibilities too cuz before this, he did say that i will not want u to change cuz i love who you are. I feel like there mite b smtg i can change to make him happier, so i kept asking him what he likes. I change according to it. I think that is where i went wrong and he took advantage of it t o treat me like a door mat. Agree?

Jenrick>> yeah, guys should not hit a girl. I never hear such thing before.

illutional >> i have a sex problem lar. I dun really recall losing my bf. I think i can die if i lost him

[kanzaki]

oh yeah, here is a little update

i got sent to the hospital due to my fever overburn. I have a case of high blood disorder that might cause luekimia. (Just might, i will pray hard >_<) In addition of that, my eyes are damaged (nothing serious cuz my eye was just kinda pain, but i check it out anyway) because i kinda cried for quite along long while. Tho, no matter what, i might have a chance of going blind (i think my mum is just scaring me)

At first, i sms-ed him telling him that i am in the hospital. He didnt say anything bout it. Then i reminded him again and again that i am in the hospital (by saying that it is so quiet or bored n stuff) but all he replied is that he was leveled up in intial d.

i was terribely in pain (both physically n mentally)

I finally got up to my mind that i would just have to move on, it may take forever for me to recover but at least i have to try.

I sms-ed him and asked for a break up.

I was suprised, it was 3 am i sms-ed him. He appeared in the hospital at 3.30am! I was shocked. He explained that he understand that he neglected me, he was sorry. My mum brief him bout my condition and he was very very sad. He say he will change. He say he was sorry, he say alot of things

and for some strange reason, even i accepted his apology, i still dun feel right. What happen? is it me?

[kronos51]

He most likely will not change. If you were in the hospital and he was playing video games (I know a few people who are obsessed with Initial D, it is not healthy ) then I have to say he probably doesnt care about you that much still. He was taking you for granted and didnt do anything until you broke up with him. Chances are that once he feels safely in the relationship he will take you for granted again and this will repeat.

Just my thoughts though

[King Zarathu]

you know.. i used to be in your position. a little different though. i loved my g/f so much and i was so scared i'd lose her and she did the SILLYEST things that just ****ed with me so badly I slit my throat and almost passed out. i got to a sink just in time to save myself because right as i was bleeding and shit was turning black--there was a little voice in my head that said "YOU ****ING DUMBASS!! GET UP!! YOU LOSER! DON'T LET HER **** WITH YOU LIKE THAT!" and that's what i did.

what the truth is, and i'm VERY sorry, i know the pain, i know it well, and he doesn't love you as much as you love him--i'm terribly sorry. you love him to a point where it is unhealthy. you both should be at the very same level of love, as me and my g/f are now after i calmed myself down a little bit.

take care of YOURSELF and YOU and YOU and YOU; just like i take care of ME, MYSELF............and irene

it hurts me to see somebody go through that--it really sucks. get over him as quickly as you can.

my suggestion: come over and we'll have incredible sex. i'm a leader.

[Jenrick285]

Kronos said it pretty well...
I'm not sure how it is on "MarZ" but most people would stop playing their game at 3am in the morning if their gf/bf was in the hospital...
I think most of us would do this at a minimum for a friend...

I'm sorry to say with his history, and his actions, he has the credibility of a used car salesman....
Actions speaker louder than words.

[kronos51]

Yep, I personally stop anything for my gf, even if she just wants to talk. I mean seriously, is it more important for me to finish a game of Warcraft with friends than to talk to her? No, she is more important to me than games or friends (though she would never push me to ignore my friends). This is something that you deserve, and should not settle for less

[kanzaki]

kronos >> yeah, initial d = steals ur bf/gf

yeah, something tells me that he will take me for granted again and again....and again..

Lts >> hmmm, wat u are suggesting is eaither i move on or i will have to stable myself and try not to love him that much? u mean my level of love is unhealthy? i kinda agree. I think i am going psyco

wow! YEah! bring it baby! Rowr~!

jenrick>> i think there is a misunderstanding. The arcade close at 9 pm. I think by tha time he should be home on the initial d forum and brag about his time, level and stuff.

I smsed him bout the break up at 3am. He should b sleeping, i tot he would realise that in the morning and apparently, by then i would be much more stable and stronger in resisting him.

My plan backfired, he was awake and he rushed down to the hospital. and apparently, i just dun have the heart to keep on resisting him. He was on his knees. It kinda hurts me like hell. so apparently i said ok....but i just dun feel rite....dunno why

kronos >> i wish my bf thinks like u

[Prodigal]

Initial D?!? Your bf doesn't go to the hospital to see because he's ****ing playing Initial D?!?!? Do I need to go down there and kick this guy's ass? I mean... hell... I used to be addicted to DDR (yes, that dancing game... but I'm still a teenager), and I'd say it was pretty bad. But I think if I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't play the whole time instead of being with her. If an addiction can screw up your priorities that much, then its time to start considering kicking the habit. I seriously wonder why guys treat their gfs like this.

Man Kronos, I agree with you 100%. I like your way of thinking... if I had a girlfriend, I'd try really hard to be that way.

Kanzaki, I'd hate to sound mean or brutal, but just try to consider the circumstances. You read what I said before. Now add the fact that he didn't come to the hospital until you said you were breaking up with him. Say you got seriously hurt. Wouldn't you want him to be there for you? Wouldn't you be pissed if he wasn't? And if he wasn't, wouldn't he need a reason for it? A damn good reason? Let's hope it's a hell of a lot better than saying "I was raising my ranking on Initial D from 7 to 5!" How about raising the amount of time he spends with you instead of blowing you off for Initial D?

Er... sorry for all that. I think I'll stop.

[Illusional]

like i said before.. you're with a guy that takes you into consideration because he likes to have someone around. your his gf only at HIS convenience

raverboy

[kanzaki]

Prodigal >> Yeah, that was on my mind to when i first think of it. But i refuse to put pressure on him , i am afraid that he would ended up choosing initial d instead of me. (Yeah, i know, this kind of men who can choose initial d instead of his own gf are suppose to be exececuted. I know, not worth it right? but i can't T_T)

if u would, please do. He stays in malaysia. U would have to fly here first

nah, i am ok. For some reason, this is not too brutal for me. U can just continue

Illutional >> *stabs pen into heart* now that is painful

[Prodigal]

Prodigal >> Yeah, that was on my mind to when i first think of it. But i refuse to put pressure on him , i am afraid that he would ended up choosing initial d instead of me. (Yeah, i know, this kind of men who can choose initial d instead of his own gf are suppose to be exececuted. I know, not worth it right? but i can't T_T)

Considering this, why refuse pressure? If you're afraid that he would choose Initial D over you, then maybe you've already accepted that as the truth, even if it isn't. I think you should confront him about it. To do exactly what you feel you can't do- put pressure on him. If he chooses you, then maybe your thoughts were wrong. Maybe things could be better. If he chooses Initial D, then things may be better that way than they are now. If he chooses that over you, then its definitely time to move on. And if so, then he's just not worth your time. So, I'd say to do that, even if you don't feel good doing it. It's better for the both of you.

[kanzaki]

oh well, here is another update. Dun leave me on this one. If i gonna do it, i need all the support i can get

Today he came over to the house. We were suppose to leave to the arcade before it open (mind u it was only 9am, it opens at 10.30am) so we can get double seating on the intial d machine and i can 'donate' some wins to him (means play with him and lose to him so he can level up) My granny was asking for some stuff (she is half blind, so i need to take care of her needs) and when i nurse my granny, he screams at me and rushing me to be faster.

me : wait la, granny wans me to get her clothes in the laundry first
him : I don't care what u do but u better hurry up or we can't get double seats! (screaming)
me : dun worry k baby?
him : i dunno, i dun care! If i dun get double seats i will personally kill u.
me : ...

i dun think he will do such thing. Would he?

Anyway, we finnaly got off and on the way, i conplained to him that i am very frustrated of him treating me that way. Putting initial d ahead of me. At that moment, i was ready for a break up (Ouch!)

When we reach the arcade, it was not opened yet (duh! it was only 10am) And i was very unhappy i kinda cried. He dragged me to the side stairs and he kneeled down infront of me saying "im sorry honey, sometimes i just kinda over react with initial d. sorry.."

Naturaly my heart broke into pieces. I forgave him and i played 50 games of initial d with him so he can level up faster (my eyes can c double by that time)

we later headed off to ANOTHER mall for movies. To cut things short, i went shopping, draged him along (he was screaming "this sux!!!!" loudly and put on a very sour face) The one that hurts me is "wth! ask me to accompany her to shopping...i rather her accompany me to the arcade. Go acrade mah, WHY shopping!
He though i was not around but apparently the fitting room is not sound proof

I tried to make things interesting by modeling some kinda exposed clothes for him. He clearly enjoyed it.

And yes, once i pay the cashier, he runs to the arcade.

later the night my ex gave me a call and kinda bitched about me. Dunno why he did that but it kinda hurt. I told my bf and he called me up straight (even he is so tired like he wanna die already) and say he will stay with me until i am happy and i am cheered up. He will stay up until 4 am if he have to.

me : why are u doing this?
him : because my job is to make u happy all the time. My goal is to make u happy and problem-free for life

yes, i kinda bought that. and yes, i am stupid T_T

he shower me with all kinds of sweet talks and wanted to sneek out of house tomorrow just to acompany me go shopping again.

i was kinda happy until he said "yes, u are attractive, you are the greatest, but just lacking of something. Maybe some sparks?"

and yes, that was the last straw i can take.

I AM LEAVING HIM BEFORE HE LEAVES ME

sound stupid huh?

well, i kinda think this is a good way to do things. I think this is how it should be. Who is on my back? Opinions needed!

n btw, i am very emotional now n i still love him very much, please dun attempt to throw shoe at me when i say i am back with hm again

[blue]

Get away from this guy! You deserve so much better and all this is is drama that you so dont need. You dont need someone yelling at you! U dont need someone to tell you you are not good enough You dont need someone to hityou! **** that! Its time to take a stand. Love is wonderful and all that i know and its hard to let go. I know that you love him but thats not enough do you seriously see yourself putting up with this shit a minuite longer? plus you are so ****ing vulnerale right now but know this you dont need him and his abbusive idea of love **** that! Leave him be strong for yourself that is all you need. all you need is you.

[kanzaki]

blue, tell me, is there anyway / anything he can do to make it up to me?

[blue]

shit no he will never be ale to make it up never! you know how i know cuz i have been thru this shit and it gets tiring the constant trying to make it up the sorrys the getting on the knees crap all that abuse and you cannot let him do it anymore..and to be honest here eventually you will become so bitter torwards him and things will be worse. That tough person is in you. you have lost yourself in this a hole of a guy, its easy to get lost but just listen to me that strong person is in you and striving to come out! Let her out. BE the real you not who he wants you to be... you are not weak