How does someone fall out of love?

[Fairy Cakes]

I met this person a while ago. He happens to be my boss and im quite a bit younger than him. Eventually we couldnt help it. he'd fallen for me, and i liked him. I'd met his parensts very quickly and he even drove me 300 milkes to stay with mine. He's said, 'this is a serious relationship'. So there are many things like this going on, and, its not just owrds, the actions are there too. Then we start going through difficult times. He is an indecisive man. He has problems with work. And always didnt know what to do with it.
We broke up recently, and he said he hadnt felt the same for 6- 8 weeks, and it wasnt work or all the other things thst were going on for him. He just didnt feel the same. He didnt want to be with me. He didnt want the furutre we'd planned. We wenrt compatible, and he wouldnt change his mind. I understand all this and that he doesnt want the relationship. I just dont understand how someone so desparately cares,a nd then just 'doesnt feel that way' anymore. Any answers ...???

[VincenzoG91]

Sometimes people fall out of love because they have a new crush.

[vashti]

He probably realized you are too young for him. Despite platitudes, age DOES matter, particularly if you are in your early 20s or younger.

[Fairy Cakes]

I am young, and it was one of the reasons he originally thought twice. I hoped that it was just the right people, wrong time, wrong place. I have a lot of potential as a person, but yes, i am young. I dont think he'd have a new crush.. but I also know, it's not my fault, that the problem was with him. But I just wonder?? How this could happen??

[xxazurexx]

I think that if people fall out of love 'that' easily, then it wasn't truly love to start with.

A lot confuse lust with love. I think he fell out of 'lust' with you, which happens and when the honeymoon is over and there is nothing left to want to remain in the relationship and remain there for the long haul. He was never in love with you IMO.

[davidtorres]

its the age. he knows you have a lot of potential but he is looking for something else. you are right that it is not your fault.

[Fairy Cakes]

ok, thank you davidtorres. Ive had time to reflect nad i believe part this true. He has other issues surrounding him. And since the split i have had to make some big decisions. To grow up more basically. He either realises h'es missed out, ir he doesnt. either way, being 300 miles away will certainly help my sanity. thank you

[lahnnabell]

Too much, too fast. He probably let his lust for you be the driving force behind his wanting to be with you, and when that ran its course, he had nothing left. It sucks, but it's a good learning experience. Next time, be careful of guys who get so serious so fast.

[Fairy Cakes]

I understand.. but if it wasnt for the situation that we met in, I was pretty ill, and he wasnt there for me like that. We did know each other before we went out, and it wasnt like it just went away really quickly, it didnt, it's when things started to become hard and the situation we were in became more stressful that the it started ot go wrong. Im pretty sure it wasnt lust, because of the actions connected with it. We just knew how much we caed for each other. His feelings for the most part actually outwayed mine. Itrs when i srtaed to return them that it happened. I dont know, prehaps im answering my own quesiton again and again. There are so many reasons, and i guess i am the one who actually knows the guy and knows what he is like. But thank you, because you're all bringing up relevant points.

[lahnnabell]

I understand.. but if it wasnt for the situation that we met in, I was pretty ill, and he wasnt there for me like that. We did know each other before we went out, and it wasnt like it just went away really quickly, it didnt, it's when things started to become hard and the situation we were in became more stressful that the it started ot go wrong. Im pretty sure it wasnt lust, because of the actions connected with it. We just knew how much we caed for each other. His feelings for the most part actually outwayed mine. Itrs when i srtaed to return them that it happened. I dont know, prehaps im answering my own quesiton again and again. There are so many reasons, and i guess i am the one who actually knows the guy and knows what he is like. But thank you, because you're all bringing up relevant points.

We don't just mean lust as in "sexual attraction". But the red hot feelings he had for you at first cooled off very quickly, which means that this "love" he claimed to feel most likely was not love.

[thundersw]

you don't happen to be a secretary?
i can only wonder how many boss/worker relations really worked out, plus the fact of age.