Gah, option A sounds horrible.
Okay so you have it narrowed down to his family splitting. It's a reason. But it's not an excuse for the treatment you have been getting. I don't think he totally understands that when you break up with somebody, you do that when you don't want to be with somebody. You want to end the relationship when you do this. To end it but still act like everything is normal is just another case of having your cake and eating it too. He may not have found somebody else yet, but to have you around at his convenience, he doesn't have a reason to COME BACK to you. As mentioned, he gets everything he wants when he wants it. It's his way or the highway. He has you where he wants you. And to do this while it's tearing you up inside is the epitome of pure selfishness.
I'm not saying this because I think he is a terrible guy and he is doing this on purpose to torture you. I honestly think he doesn't understand what it's doing to you and how you are a wreck as a result. But the best thing to happen when break ups happen is to cut them off and be on your own so you can fully heal on your own and be ready for something new, be it with him or somebody else. But you won't make that progress while he is still hovering around in your life.
I know you can't help how you feel, and I know you love him and want to be with him. But for whatever reasons, he doesn't want to be with you like that. Like how you want. And for you to settle for anything less is not fair to you. Keep in mind that you do have a responsibility in this, you are completely responsible for having him in your life right now. I know you said you told him to leave you alone and he doesn't get it, and that's because I think you bend or fold after a little prodding on his end. But what he is doing is not right, and since he doesn't want you as a girlfriend, you don't have any reason to give him what he wants if it's not what you want. You have to hold yourself number one here.
I know you love him and it's scary to be on your own, but you need this. You need this for your own personal growth, you need this so you aren't letting life pass you by. You have to tell him to stop calling you and stick to it. Do not respond to anything he says to you, stress that this is what he wanted and that it's not fair to you a couple times and if he doesn't get it, stop responding altogether. I promise you that the longer you give into this, the more comfortable he is going to get. But this is not about winning him back, it's about finding yourself again, and not be this frail shell of the person you used to be.
Some people learn it the hard way and this is the way many people learn. I've played the asshole boyfriend role to the tee and I always thought I was right until one day an ex-girlfriend got sick of my shit and threw it back at me and broke it off for good. Losing her was when I finally learned. It hurts, it sucks, but it was the best thing ever to happen to me. She found somebody else and is happy. He is not the only guy for you and you will find happiness with somebody else. Establishing who you are and yourself again is key and it is not going to happen with his constant interference.
Waking up next to a beautiful girl,
Step outside and say hello to my beautiful world.