My ex is calling me again saying shes wants to be friends and hang out.

[shaun17304]

Me and my ex have been together sense we were young. I am 25 she is 24 and we have been together for 9 years. We broke up and she started dating someone else a month later. We dident talk for a few weeks now shes calling me and saying she wants to be friends and hang out sometimes. I told her I could not do it , it would never work us just being friends. Is she trying to come back or does she really just want to be my friend? After 9 years of being with someone I cant see how someone could just date someone else that fast and then want to be my friend. I want her back so bad, its awful. What should I do should I called her? I told her when we got off the phone that I loved her and hoped she has a great life. Think maybe I ended the conversation the wrong way. We would just get laughing and forget we were broke up and then I would snap out of it and realize she has a BF. I asked her if she was more happy with him then me and she said no. I then said said then why arent we together and she said something like we werent happy or something like that. We both agreed we wanted each other to be happy but she is what makes me happy. It kills me now I think about it, I just dont know if she wants me back or what is going threw her head.

[kitkitkitty]

this guy sounds like he was her rebound. i don't know if she wants to get back with you but maybe test the waters.... y'know see how she feels when you meet up again? she must miss you though. it's up to you whether or not you can deal with seeing her so have a think. i guess you won't know til you make your decision.

[lahnnabell]

Her rebound with this other guy probably enabled her to move past your relationship a lot faster. However, I'm sure she's not entirely past it all either. It's so soon. Do you know what her relationship status is right now? 'Cause if I were her new boyfriend, I would not be comfortable with my GF hanging out with her very recent ex. That's just shady and inappropriate.

If rebound guy isn't so great (which they rarely turn out to be because they are more a method of convenience than anything else), perhaps she is testing the waters with you to see how you feel. But if actual friendship is what she wants, you'll do better if you avoid that road. It's rough and tortuous.

[shaun17304]

As of two days ago when she called me she had a BF. I even asked her if she was more happy with him and she said NO, its just to get over you. So I think it really odd that she went threw the trouble to come by my house and write a note on my door and then call me twice that night. She dident mention anything about wanting to come back and leave him. She just said she misses me like crazy and wants to be friends and hang out sometime. I told her I couldnt do the just friends thing because it would never work because I dont think of her as a friend. My entire family hates her for the way she did this. They said they seen her at the bar over the weekend with him just hanging all over him. Then Monday she calls me ? Im just really confused right now and dont know if I should call her or wait and see if she calls me, because I told her I had to get off the phone because its weird to me and then just said I love you and I hope you have a great life then click. SO I dont know if i did the right thing. Maybe I should have said ya lets hang out and see what happens. What if shes just using me for the comfort factor of not totally loosing me just so she can feel better, or she might actually want me back. I have no idea and its eating me up inside. If I call her I dont even know what to say, or if I could ever really trust her all the way after what she has done.

[kitkitkitty]

why exactly did you break up? and i think you're right, she's messing with your head and it sounds like she *can't* be alone or without a guy to be with/ pursue.

[shaun17304]

we broke up because we both agreed we were unhappy. This is mostly due to stress in our lifes and we never had a chance to get away from each other. When I would be gone a few days for flying it was always great when I would come home. I just dont see why she would be messing with my head, it makes no sense

[lahnnabell]

we broke up because we both agreed we were unhappy. This is mostly due to stress in our lifes and we never had a chance to get away from each other. When I would be gone a few days for flying it was always great when I would come home. I just dont see why she would be messing with my head, it makes no sense

She's enjoying the attention. She wants you to want her. And telling you she's got another guy that she's clearly using is just an attempt to drive the point home. It's all just drama. I really would take a good look at her behavior and decide whether or not you want to invite that back into your life at all.

[kitkitkitty]

she may be trying to meet up with you to say 'yes im over him, i can meet up and feel nothing'. i doubt it but that may be how her mind works. i say save yourself the heartache and carry on with your life. tell her why you can't do it and she should understand and respect your decision.