Hi girls, can you help a confused guy?

[Mr_x]

I'll try keep this as short as possible keeping in mind I need to give you all the best information in which to understand my situation, so please, please take the time to read this - my head is so confused right now.

Ok, I recently started a new job and last week another new person (female) joined of similiar age to me. I had a bad experience with getting to know a girl at work before, so I literally ignored her for 3-4 days as I knew I'd be interested in her.
Anyway, last week she sat down next to me and my friend at work and she brought up the topic of how we all get to work everyday.

She then asked me, and I said I get the train which is 45 minutes trip from home to work every day, and a 10 minute walk from the train station to the office. She said she'd happily pick me up in the morning and drive me around to the office. At first I was confused as a) this was the first time we'd spoke, b) she didn't yet know my name and c) it's only a 10 minute walk for me.

Anyway she asked for my number and I gave it. The next day she said she was late and couldn't pick me up so instead she drove me around to the station after work, and waited for me as I was last finishing up in the office.

At this point I hadn't put much thought to it, but was please a pretty girl who'd go out her way to pick me up for what is a short walk. Now we regulary walk home together and have good chats along the way.

Following this my friend at work asked if i was heading out the office to eat and I was, so he said lets grab some sandwiches and then he invited her and she agreed to come. Now, I hope this doesn't seem rude but my friend is 46, I'm 25 and she's 23. And I thought, would she really go out on her own with a 46 year old man if I wasn't going? I thought it was unlikely but who knows?

Anyway at lunch my friend talked about relationships and asked her if she was in one - she said she's been in one for 5 years!!! I was absolutely staggered. I thought, how can you boyfriend possible be happy with you picking up a single man of similar age to take me to work which isn't much of a drag to walk from the station to work? Apparently they have a long distance thing, he lives a few hours drive away and my friend asked has he proposed yet and is he 'the one' - she didn't say yes...You'd say yes immediately if he was really 'the one' right? Apparently he doesn't want to move down to where we work either.

She also said she'd walk home with me because she didn't know the easiest route to her car from the office. Yet obviously if she already parked her car at this place and walked into work she knows the best route. She's also lived here years and me only 2 weeks.

So I want to ask, these questions.

Would you be happy with your boyfirend/girlfriend [delete as appropriate] picking up another guy/girl of simliar age from work every day, walking home every day and going out to lunch? Can you say with 100% conviction you'd not care?

So I'm confused as to what she wants, is she being friendly? Is she looking at me as a possible replacement? Or is she just some saint that likes to help people and make friends?

I have tried to conclude that her boyfriend probably wouldn't be happy with her picking me up and walking home together every day. Nor would he particularly like her texting me out of working hours - and that if he worked here too then there's no way she'd be picking me up.

So does she want something from me or am I looking at this too deeply.

Thanks for your patience in reading this - any advice would help I'm so confused.

[patrick74]

Don't know if I'm allowed to post a response, as I'm not a woman.. There's a chance she's interested in you and looking for a replacement, but I would imagine she just might get along with guys better than women her own age and is looking to increase her social circle.

My whole life I've gotten along with women better than guys my own age and have been in similar scenarios as you. Other people have even assumed there's something going on, when in fact nothing was other than a friendship.

One of my best friends is girl almost ten years younger than me (36 vs 27), she's been dating the same guy for four years, I've known her for seven. We'd often meet for dinner/drinks after work, she relocated this spring but we still keep pretty close contact. We speak 4-5 times a week and text/e-mail on the off days. Few weeks ago she and her sister came down to camp with me for the weekend. A couple days later she invites me to go on a weekend road trip without her boyfriend. I happened to invite someone else I'm interested in (confused about that situation), but the point being my friend asked me on a four day road trip.

In the four years she's been dating this guy I've been around him probably a dozen times, 99% of our interaction is just the two of us.

Now personally I don't have any problems with anyone I'm dating maintaining an opposite sex friendship or just being friends, I can't say I'd be crazy about them going somewhere with them over night but everyone thinks different and that's the reason we have these type of forums so at least we can vent somewhere.

[breacliff]

great. nice topic. thanks for sharing.

[Mr_x]

No problem - thanks for being a douche.