a jerk an idiot

[zeltherion]

i believe this article of myself going to piss a lot of ladies off.. so.. before flaming me.. i SINCERELY am sorry for what i have done.. and i want to know how can i salvage this and of cos.. ensure this won't happen again ever..

currently i am in a relationship of 4yrs 7mths still ongoing with no hope of marriage till i convert to a muslim.. this girl i am with is perfect for me expect the fact that religion is the main issue between us.. and so is her family..

i am the kind of guy who love showing off his gf.. i wish to go on holidays with her.. and nope cos her parents doesn't allow a guy and girl going on a trip.. i wish to be able to hold her and sleep thru nights with her.. and obviously nope.. i need not say the reason u guys should know wad parents fear most...

but still i endured telling myself, reminding myself.. i love her for hu she is... not her religion or anything else.. even we can't get married, spending quality time is more den sufficient for me.. with that in mind.. that's how 4 yrs ++ came about..

recently.. or to be exact, 4 days back.. i met this gal.. she may not beat my gal's look (sorrie i dun care bout it) but her personailty, her outgoing attitude caught my eyes straight away..

we exchange no. and start to text and call each other (which is something my current gf doesn't like cos she say it's a waste of time.. we nvr have late night chats and it's only a max of 4 texts a day).. and slowly.. i realize.. she is able to fulfill my criteria of giving me the sense of security i need.. someone who cares bout wad i do at work.. someone who ask how's my day been.. someone who is damn tired but yet willing to stay up just to hear your voice..

these are things that nvr ever happen in my 4ys relationship cos she says nothing interesting is happening at work i am bored hearing the same routine.. anyway.. i start chatting with this gal hu filled that gap that my girl nvr fill.. and yesterday evening.. i told her.. i am slowly falling for u.. (yesh i know it's stupid of me) and she flipped saying u're attached.. even if i have fallen for u too i will not be with u.. i dun wan to be the cause of the breakup between you and your gf... and ever since that call... we nvr talk ever since...

so much for being honest.. yesh i am a jerk... hate me.. but i can't help it can't i? i am walking thru a relationship with marriage not in sight.. but yet i am also afraid i may nvr meet a girl that's of her quality.. independent yet wishes he bf to be there... and loads more which i dun feel like listing..

either way.. do advice.. wad should i do? i am feeling guilty enough for even chatting up a gal behind my girl's back.. i dunno what am i to do now...

[justcheckin]

well U dont deserve to be with either really but for what its worth, the second girl obviously didnt like you like the way you liked her. You are just looking for something better. If you are not happy, get out of the relationship. You cant keep her around until you "find something better". You should consider yourself lucky that your 4 yr gf doesnt know you got rejected because then you would be rejected by both girls (if she had any sense that is). You cant play the fence like that, it doesnt work that way. And Im a guy haha. That doesnt just piss girls off.