Am I way off course here?

[peggles61]

Am I out of line?

Am I out of line?

My boyfriend has a tenant that he had a relationship with years ago. He continually goes over to her apartment to do "little" repairs. She can't even change a light bulb. She calls him several times a week and he always goes over to "help" her out. When I ask him why he jumps and runs over there every time she calls he says because she pays her rent, it is just "business", she takes care of the plants and he cannot afford to have a vacant apartment. I tell him I think it is a bit odd for a landlord-tenant relationship and that it bothers me. Especially since when I ask him to fix little things for me I wait so long that I end up fixing them myself. He swears that there is nothing going on between them and that it ended years ago. Am I out of line to feel bothered by this? I have caught him lying to me before. He gets so defensive when I try and discuss this with him that he tells me, "Fine, I won't do it anymore" but he always does. He simply cannot say no to her. Tomorrow he has to go fix her "table" his second visit this week. My trust has been worn away with this man because he has lied to me before, he always tells me what he "thinks" I want to hear rather than the truth and when I try to communicate with him about this woman or anything that bothers me for that matter he gets defensive and starts raising his voice saying "fine, fine, fine, I won't do it anymore, stop whipping me. He tells me I am making something out of nothing or.....you are obviously PMSing. Am I off base feeling like this? Am I the only person who thinks that this is just a little more than odd? Do you think there is more going on than he is willing to admit? We have been in this relationship for three years and my intuition tells me to break up with him and move on but my heart tells me to hang on............help!!

[returnofthezro]

well from a financial perspective, i can tell you that a vacant property can be quite taxing, but unless he is charging above market value or the property is in a bad neighborhood, i dont see any reason why he cant find another tenant who wont be as demanding.

i cant really tell you if he is cheating or not, i am not psychic, but it sounds like you are generally untrusting of him, rightly or wrongly, thats just the way you are and for this to work, i think he has to either accept it and deal with it or move on, i think whether you have a right to be jealous or not is irrelevant, you are who you are and he has to make concessions, thats what a relationship is, i would sit him down and tell him straight that you dont like him going over there (sounds like you have already have....a couple of times) - if he ignores it, then its best to follow what your head is saying, if he is cheating then he is a piece of shit, if he is not, then he doesnt have enough respect for you to stop doing something he knows is causing you pain

of note, i think most women would be suspicious of the situation you stated above, so no i dont think you are out of line

[LailaK]

Um... I don't ask my landlord to fix my table. I certainly don't need repairs weekly. He sounds super shady.

Don't let him tell you you're just being crazy because I don't think you are.

Tell him that his rental situation isn't normal, you're not stupid, and if he can't be honest with you, you will leave to find someone who can be. Leave it at that. If he doesn't change his behavior you have to be prepared to leave to find someone who cares more about your feelings.

[peggles61]

Thank you guys, She is on state subsidized housing and the laws in our city lean towards the tenant not the landlord and he cannot ask her to leave without just cause. He inherited her as a tenant when he bought the building. She has been living there for years but since she welcomed him into her bed obviously she feels entitled to special treatment. So in a nutshell.....I should not feel I am being unreasonable with these feelings?