Broke up with him; I feel like crap

[CoffeeShot]

I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday because we seemed to drag each other down all the time. We made each other the top priority in our lives, over school, work, friends, everything. I know that it's unhealthy and that's why I ended it. It essentially came to me having to choose between him or my goals (getting a college degree, etc). And this is the third time that we've broken up. I absolutely cannot go back to him.

But I still feel so terrible. I started second guessing myself the minute I did it. My mom thinks that he was trying to manipulate me so she told me to leave, that she was afraid for me. What friends I have left also said that I didn't seem happy and should leave. My brain is telling me that obviously it's good that I left him. But my heart feels like it's breaking.

It's probably because he's the only person who's really been in my life the past couple of years. We saw each other every day, despite not living together, and we shared everything with each other. I feel like a part of myself is gone.

But I KNOW that it's for the best. I've always wanted to be self sufficient, to be able to support myself and be good at something. I just can't balance such a serious relationship with all of my other obligations. It seems so simple and yet it hurts so much. Not to mention all of his mental issues. He mentioned to me that he thinks he's schizophrenic or might be possessed. I feel like I'm deserting him when he needs me the most. But I just can't handle all of his problems anymore. The past couple of weeks I've been getting physically sick from the stress of our relationship.

Ugh. Yeah. I guess this is more than a vent than anything..it felt good to get that all out Can anyone relate? Offer advice?

[CoffeeShot]

He just made a journal entry last night that said "the end is near". I'm so afraid for him. I feel like such an awful person for leaving him again.

[Lineofsight]

Yea I can relate to this, when a love relationship is strong you just want to see eachother all the time, then when you get used to this and start pulling back to reassess your priorities someone gets hurt.

I think men become a manipulator very easily either because they are overprotective or just claiming too much, thats what happens when love runs wild, everything needs balance but the combination of school/career and love is a classic problem.

If he cant give you the space for your career then you cant be together...