Don't know what to do with this girl

[MadMardegan]

It's kind of a long story but here goes.

I've been working with this one girl close to a year now. We've only really started to talk to each other properly in the last 2-3 months or so.
Before this time I had told guys in work I liked her and as a practical joke they relayed the message to her (not my intention) and apparently she seemed interested in me too (from what they told me)

Nothing happened for months, and I was happy enough to let things just go on, wasn't planning on asking her out or anything.

So one night, we're chatting after work on facebook, usual joking around and she says "hey, if you're not doing anything on monday night wanna come over to my place and I'll cook you dinner?"
I'm all up for it. I like a girl who's forward like.
So monday comes and turns out she has to cancel cause she has to work. No big deal. We reschedule.

So the next time she cancels again cause she's feeling sick. I'm a little peeved but we just reschedule again.

So the 3rd time, we reschedule and she cancels again! This time she says "god, I can only imagine what you think of me cancelling on you 3 times. I'm really not the kinda girl to mess with someones head like this, I do like you and think you're a cool guy and if you don't want to come over at another day I understand". So I do the nice guy thing (might have been a bad idea but that's just me) and say "yeah don't worry, i'm not the kinda guy to get annoyed over things like that, I like you too and want to spend time together outside of work"

So she asks me over again to her place on nights I can't go cause I've to be up too early etc. Everything is still going good in work and we're still texting a chatting on facebook etc.

She had a nickname for me too. I was told off some other girls in work that she told them she liked me etc

A few months earlier she asked me if I'd be able to get my hands on black nitrile gloves (I work as a medic). I told her I would be able to but she obviously forgot she asked me. And I suprised her with them a few days before he birthday in work. She was really happy, told me I was an amazing person, couldn't believe someone would do that for her etc.

Then, I ask her what she's doing for her birthday..."me and my ex were supposed to go away for it but we broke up a little while ago"....WTF?? She told me before this that she spent the night with one of the customers from the club too (and that she usually wasn't that kinda girl...)

So I just shrug it off.
Then she starts to talk about him a little more. How he's annoying her and she doesn't know what to do but that she wants to stay friends.

So time's going on. She gets me a t-shirt made with the nickname she uses for me. She texts me saying "oh we have to go out for drinks soon, or go to the cinema etc" and everytime she cancels on them too...

So my head is really wrecked by this girl but I really like her and we work together so I figured I had to be somewhat nice.

So, over time we stop texting and facebook talks slow down to. Apparently she's talking about her ex more in work to people. I'm really confused at this stage but am just kinda going with the flow.
I went on a few holidays and she went on one. Before she went she told "we're still going out when I come back if you still want to?" I say "yeah sure, would love to"

I should mention that she also asked me to move in when her flatmate moves out cause I mentioned I wanted to move out too. So that's all good, whatever.

Then, all of a sudden...no contact??? Kinds ignores me in work and nothing else going on.

So at this stage I've no idea what to do.

Then all of a sudden saturday night after work we start chatting and she tells me "it's an open invite to my place whenever I want it" then, "I'm off monday, any plans?"

So, AGAIN, we arrange to go to her place and monday comes and I get a message cancelling AGAIN!

She tells me her flatmate is having friends over etc, and then says "i don't know what to tell you anymore, you must think I'm the worst person in the world for having dinner with or watching a movie"

I didn't write back to her but instead went out with some friends and had a few drinks....bad idea...I was feeling pissed off already and people were telling me to forget about her but when I got home I sent her a message saying "listen, I think we should forget about seeing each other outside of work, If you were sincere about anything you said it would've happened by now. only so many times you can cancel on someone before they look like a fool, though I think that happened a long time ago..."
I get a reply saying "no worries, sorry, never meant to make you look like a fool and didn't do any of it on purpose"

So, work was kinda awkward the next few nights. Until last night, she starts talking to me normally again, making eye contact, joking etc. For me it's still kinda weird but I don't know how she feels.

My problem is that I really like this girl and can't stop thinking about her. I'm thinking I should pull her aside in work and lay everything on the table. Tell her the message was a mistake etc.

I just want to get other peoples opinions on this please.

Thanks...sorry for the essay too.

[MerryH]

She sounds REALLY flaky. I know you like her and all, but would you really want a relationship with her when she's going to be canceling on you all the time?

Also, why did you leave it all up to her? Why didn't you ever ask her out?

[MadMardegan]

I did ask her out.

Drinks, cinema etc.

But she cancelled on them too.

I was thinking of just talking to her in work, putting everything on the table. Apologising for sending that message while drunk and for not doing it face to face.

[MerryH]

Putting everything on the table? Like what? How you really like her and want to make more plans that she can cancel on? And why apologize for sending that message? You were right, you should forget about seeing each other and it WAS making you look like a fool. Why ask for more of the same?

Listen, if I liked a guy and had to keep canceling on him, after the 2nd or 3rd time, I would make a HUGE amount of effort to follow through on my plans in the future, to show the guy that I cared and was really sorry. She doesn't care enough about you.

[justcheckin]

^^^^ I agree. There comes a point where you got to realize if somebody REALLY REALLY wants to see somebody... they will. who cares what else is going on. it is not important, she is not the president.

[MadMardegan]

Well, I'm not looking for anything to happen with the girl but I do still want to be friends to be honest. I had some stuff to get off my chest.

I sent her a message on facebook (stupid to do it on facebook but I know but I didn't get a chance to do it in person and I explained that) and it took her a while to write back. When she did write back it was one word answers (not like her)

So after a few minutes I just "ok, you don't want, that's cool"
She replies "I'm on the phone, plus I don't know what to talk about anymore"

And I just layed everything out plan and simple. Told her I was drunk when I sent the message, that I wanted to say it person etc. That I like her but that she was making things really hard the past few weeks etc.
And she apologised for the way things worked out.

So I think we're cool as it is. I was feeling much better yesterday and today.

One thing did really bother me today though. Usual facebook browsing and she posts an update "all boyfriends should just go to hell now".

Took me by surpise completely. I see the kinda person she really is now. That being said I do still like her but I know it's best just to try and forget about her.

I've kinda gone backwards I know but for now I can't help it.