Can someone be honest and help me understand?

[Lifeless]

I'm a 21 year-old in college and never had a girlfriend. But MULTIPLE people have told me I'm hot, handsome, cute, adorable, etc. I've even have some guys tell me "you're a good-looking guy"... One time I had a random girl that didn't know me at all tell me I was hot.

The problem, girls never even look at me at college. I could be walking past a group of girls coming in the opposite direction and I look at them but they act like I don't exist. On top of that, girls never approach me. I sit alone in the cafeteria sometimes and occasionally look up and everyone acts like I don't exist. No eye contact, nothing. If I were as attractive as I have been told, it seems girls would at least look at me

I'm a little short, 5'8 and 135 pounds. I've also been called baby-faced and young-looking so I think the combination of the above might be my problem. Is it possible I'm really attractive to a small percentage of girls and the rest don't even notice me? Or do they notice me and I just don't notice them noticing me? Or could I be so attractive that girls think I'm gay? (I've had a couple gay guys like me).

[spiritofjosh]

5'8 isn't that short, if you were like 5'1 that would be short. But maybe you need to start trying to talk to girls first. It sounds discouraging because they never approach you but unless you look like swamp thing there's no way you can't get ANY girls. I'm 5'9 and not the most attractive man around but I still get around but a big part of it is my personality and sense of humor. Maybe you're too shy or to closed up, have you considered talking to girls after drinking some beer? No I'm kidding but try going to parties even if you don't drink and see where that gets you. And coming from a guy, I don't know your style but just be yourself, don't go crazy and try looking like some high end stud if you do, it might make girls thinks "who the hell does this guy think he is?" Sorry to ramble but good luck and just try and open up to girls, if you get turned down its not the end of the world.

[MerryH]

Post a pic. I'll be honest about your attractiveness.

But yeah, I agree with the post above me. Why are you waiting for people to come to you? You can't just sit there and look pretty and expect people to come to you. Especially since you're a guy. You have to make an effort. Maybe you give off vibes that put people off. Are you awkward? Weird body language (bad posture, arms crossed, looking down all the time)? Do you dress well?

[spiritofjosh]

Above poster proved a very good point I forgot to mention. I don't want to sound cocky by mentioning myself but I've had a problem where people were afraid to approach me because I had a "look" that I didn't want to be bothered. I've also been told I put off that vibe too, so I tried to be more friendly and more outgoing and it had good outcome. Point is maybe you give off that "vibe" or "look" that you aren't approachable. Good luck again.

[Lifeless]

Thanks everyone for the replies. I think I do have a "look" because people have told me numerous occasions that I look pissed off or super pissed off all the time. But I'm not usually angry by any means... I do have thick eyebrows and hooded eyes with high cheekbones so maybe that might make me look angry or arrogant?

[MerryH]

No, it's probably not just your facial features. Even Jack Nicholson can look friendly if he wants to.

[Davis]

Bro, I got the same problem...

21 years old

In College...

5'10" 150 lbs

People have said I'm good looking...but apparently not good enough to get some "looks"...so it would be easier to know if I should approach a girl...

I don't know man...I'm a shy guy too..so...who knows....

Just gotta start going up to girls and saying "hey"....I'm starting to do this more often...eventually the odds are that we'll find someone..

[spiritofjosh]

Well if its your face you can't really change that nor should you want to. Just be as friendly as possible and make as many friends as you can.

[MerryH]

Just gotta start going up to girls and saying "hey"....I'm starting to do this more often...eventually the odds are that we'll find someone..

Yes. This.

This is a nice attitude and a nice way to meet people. Do this.

[JELEF]

Thanks everyone for the replies. I think I do have a "look" because people have told me numerous occasions that I look pissed off or super pissed off all the time. But I'm not usually angry by any means... I do have thick eyebrows and hooded eyes with high cheekbones so maybe that might make me look angry or arrogant?

Me as well. Except I'm 6' and athletic so until someone actually engages me or sees me interact with someone I look like a massively unapproachable arrogant twat. I've not really found any comfortable or natural way of changing my mannerisms to put off a more approachable and positive vibe so it's up to you to show people that your exterior may be deceptive. Smile at people when making random eye contact. Be proactive and approach women/people. If it takes but a moment to show people you're open and friendly, then take the time to do that.

Like you I'm also shy so the tricky bit's always working out if another person's even interested, especially if no contact's been established. Either find a way to appear more approachable or take a punt and risk rejection from time to time.

[justcheckin]

5'10 163 baby!

anyways, just cuz your good looking doesn't mean that everybody is gonna drool over your presence. In college people are more relaxed when it comes to looks and usually focus on friendships/class/etc. I'm sure a girl might glance at you and be like, that guys kinda cute, but that's gonna be it. It wont be like you are a celebrity, get real lol