Is it too fast?

[Ladyredd515]

2 months ago I was dumped, cruelly, by the man who asked me to marry him - one day I had a ring, the next I had a text message saying we were through because he got a job offer out of state - wouldn't even face me in person. I have not heard from him since as he has not responded to any emails, calls, etc. To be fair, we moved WAY too fast in our relationship which I had some reservations about and because of that, I wanted a long "engagement". We were only together 3 months before he asked me to marry him. (we are both in our 40's) Anyway, I've gone through the heart break, the pain, the anger, the remorse and have finally found some peace with myself and have been able to get back into my normal routine and activities again. In the course of one of these activities, SCUBA diving, I've met a new male friend who has alot of the same interests as me, and he would like to "see where a friendship might lead" for us. He knows what just happened to me and isn't pushing things, but it's obvious that he is "waiting". My concern is that it may be too early for me to get into another relationship, and I don't want to be unfair to him or to myself. I do like him, we have alot in common, he makes me laugh, we have good conversations and I feel "happy" and comfortable around him. Do you think it's too soon?

Thanks for any input...

[VincenzoG91]

I would never even dream of marrying someone that I knew for less than a year. That's reckless, and trivializes the concept of marriage.

[Ladyredd515]

Yes, and I understood that, and that's why I wanted a long "engagement", there were some red flags I was seeing as well that made me nervous and I wanted to make sure we were compatible after more then just a few months together. It was my fault for saying yes to him in the first place, and I know and accept that. I'm past what happened with him, both my mistakes and his. But my question is about is it too soon to move forward and see where a friendship might lead with this new man, or should I just keep it at a friendship, or back out all together?

[ammi00]

If this new guy seems to be interested into you, yes, move forward and see where this leads.

[justcheckin]

I dunno my dad jumped into a relationship when my parents got divorced and it didn't end up well at all. They barley knew each other a year and decided to get married. It takes about a year (or more) to really fully understand who somebody truly is... and that is what happens.

You are caught up in the romance with the new guy, but you don't really know if you guys will Truly work or not, you can only tell that with time.

[WICKED THOUGHTS]

Have fun with this new guy and no, its not to early Now, my question is? Were u married b4? If not Then ur prolly gnna rush in to hqve that dream wedding and family. Nway, good luck

[Ladyredd515]

Wicked - been married before, for 17 years. Divorced for 5 years now. I had one serious relationship after my marriage that lasted a little over a year before he moved (the move was already scheduled before we had met, so we went into it knowing about what was going to happen - it was a gradual thing that went from friendship to love and neither of us pushed it. We are still friends because we understood what was going on). This last guy - I rushed too fast, not sure why, not sure what it was about him really, and I was probably caught up in the romance of it all. And I think that's why I'm being so cautious now. I certainly don't want a repeat of what I just went through, and I don't want to be unfair to this new guy. I guess the best thing to do is just see where things lead naturally on their own and dont' overthink everything Like I said, we have fun together and are comfortable around one another, so at the very least a good friendship is being built.

Thank you all for you input

[justcheckin]

yeah just play it out... but dont "rush" anything.

[Spoonandfork]

geez, you were with your ex for only 3 months. How long do you think you're suppose to wait before dating again?